Teenage boozing: the school ball has been reduced to a warm-up for a costly piss-up

So why – exactly – do our teenagers go to the school ball?

Not because it is a big occasion on the school social calendar, apparently, because the buggers want more than that.

After the ball they want to go on to another function, the after-ball party.

And they (or their parents more likely) are willing to pay $75 a head – maybe more – for whatever goes on at the after-ball party.

For that sort of money, you would want it to be quite an occasion, which Alf thought the school ball was supposed to be.

Next bloody thing we know, the brats will be headed for the after-ball-party party.

Alf muses on the transmogrification of the school ball after reading that:

At least four after-ball parties have been axed as organisers run for cover after a police crackdown and concerns over teen drunkenness.

An official source last night told the Herald several South Auckland school groups had cancelled after-ball functions, and were “looking at options” for hosting their parties legally.

Another was cancelled in Christchurch yesterday after it was revealed students were being encouraged to get “crazy drunk” at it.

The acting principal of Baradene College in Remuera, Theresa Bosch, is quoted in the Herald as saying it was “very hard to say” if a parent-organised, $75-a-head after-ball party – to be held at a secret location on June 11 – would go ahead. An announcement is expected today.

Alf wants to know what the brats will get for their $75 a head.

He also wants to know why the buggers can’t go or be taken straight home after the ball, to wake up next day fresh and bushy-tailed and ready to be educated.

The cops – good on them – are on to what’s happening.

In a letter to about 40 high schools last week, police warned they would not accept justifications offered for illegal after-ball functions.

Calling an event a “private party” or getting parents to sign permission slips did not legalise alcohol-laden bashes, they said. Nor did holding parties in secret locations.

Auckland Area Commander Inspector Andy Coster is cheered that party plans are being re-thought.

“A number of organisers of these events seem to be responding to the message and are reconsidering their plans in light of the discussion that’s been going on,” he said.

The remarks of an Auckland after-ball organiser, Ben Gaines, of NEEDaDJ, are illuminating.

He also runs an outfit called AfterBalls.co.nz, and he said at least three main companies in Auckland help school groups – students and parents – organise after-ball parties.

The AfterBalls website has the words: “Fully Booked for 2010″ splashed across the page.

But he is not forthcoming on some points.

Asked if alcohol was served at the events, Mr Gaines said he could not comment about that.

Mr Gaines would not identify the schools he was helping to organise after-ball functions, but praised the way in which they were being run.

Alf was particularly struck by this remark:

“If people like us didn’t put them on, then where are the kids going to go? Because they’re going to happen anyway.”

Where are they going to go?

Home to bed, damn it – and back to their own respective beds.

They should be all tucked up before their carriages are turned back into pumpkins.