Invitation to Eric Joyce: come Down Under, mate, and teach the MPs here how to toughen up

Learning how to butt heads and come out the winner would be useful at Question Time.

Never thought it would be written here. But Trevor Mallard is a pussy cat.

Mallard – it might be remembered – escaped an assault charge when he was Minister for the Environment after an altercation with National MP Tau Henare by pleading guilty to the lesser charge of fighting in a public place.

But fair to say, Trev is thoroughly genteel when compared with Britain’s Eric Joyce, who recently was convicted of four counts of assault and – when asked to tally the number of people he has thumped over the years -reckons it’s probably 100.

What is it with Labour MPs that they land themselves in court facing assault charges?

Eric Joyce arrives at Westminster Magistrates Court.

Remember Trevor Mallard’s altercation with Tau Henare?

No, not the occasional verbal tiff in Parliament.

Alf refers to an altercation of the physical sort that resulted in Mallard being charged with assault.

He was Minister for the Environment at the time, the way Alf recalls it, and finished up pleading guilty to the lesser charge of fighting in a public place.

At the time of the incident, Stuff reported Mallard had punched Henare in a lobby off Parliament’s debating chamber, striking his jaw after a heated exchange.

The clash started when the National MP goaded his rival in the chamber about his personal life.

It turns out Mallard has a soul-mate in Britain’s Parliament.

A Labour MP, sure enough, named Eric Joyce.

This Joyce feller has been spared jail after pleading guilty to four counts of assault following his brawl in a House of Commons bar last month.

He won’t be stepping down from Parliament (but nor did Mallard).