Tickling this PETA would be a nice job for BB

PETA needs someone like BB and BB would benefit from membership of PETA.

Alf, accordingly, has sent her name to them with an application for immediate membership and a bit of stuff about how she could do for PETA’s media coverage what an unfortunate burst of domestic violence has done for Tony Veitch. Get its name all over the front pages of our newspapers and heavy coverage on radio and TV.

PETA is shorthand for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (although there’s no need to remember this, because their cause is an eminently unmemorable one).

They desperately need good public relations advice, although – even better – they desperately need to find a better cause to peddle.

They banged out a statement on Friday pleading with Environment Minister Nick Smith to become a vegetarian to reduce carbon emissions.

With Earth Day fast approaching, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) Asia-Pacific sent a letter this morning to Minister for the Environment Nick Smith urging him to go vegetarian. Pointing out that the meat industry is the world’s largest contributor of greenhouse-gas emissions, PETA has dubbed the week surrounding Earth Day (20–26 April) “Meat’s Not Green” Week.

So what volume of greenhouse gas emissions – exactly – can be accounted for by Nick Smith’s carnivorous eating habits?

On the down side, how much farting will be the unfortunate consequence of his switching to a vegetarian diet? And what would be the net result, in terms of saving the planet?

Ah, but PETA is thinking much bigger than Nick.

PETA is urging Smith to help lead New Zealand and the world in the fight against climate change and to help protect the environment by going vegetarian and advocating vegetarianism.

Alf can see the headlines now: World rushes to follow Nick Smith and renounce meat.

Too bad about the resultant collapse of the New Zealand meat industry – with huge ramifications for our farm-based economy.

“The best thing that any of us can do to for our health, for animals and for the environment is to go vegetarian”, says PETA Director Jason Baker. “It’s time to move from the Kyoto Protocol to the vegetarian protocol. The best and easiest way for Minister Smith to show that he’s committed to combating climate change is to kick the meat habit.”

So how many news media in this country carried PETA’s pap?

Alf is pleased to say, not one – at least, not one he could find through a Google search this morning.

Nor is there any record of how Nick Smith has responded to the letter sent to him by PETA. Odds on, the letter was thrown with the Beehive rubbish at the weekend.

But an AFP report from Beirut tells us PETA tried this stunt in at least one other country.

Lebanon’s environment minister on Thursday shunned a call to give up kebabs and live on the country’s wide range of vegetarian dishes.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) appealed to minister Antoine Karam to “lead Lebanon and the world in the charge against climate change and environmental destruction by going vegetarian and advocating a vegetarian diet.”

Ashley Fruno, PETA’s senior campaigner, said the group was hopeful Karam would swear off flesh as part of a global effort to cut down on greenhouse-gases emitted by livestock farms and to be kinder to animals. The minister said that while he is all for the environment, he is not willing to give up kebbeh, shawarma and other meat dishes. “If I turn vegetarian, will I be helping animals?” he asked. “There are other, more important steps.”

That’s where BB could play a role in a win-win partnership.

PETA (presumably) wants to spread its silly message to our newspapers. BB is known around the capital as a dab hand at public relations.

BB (inspired by Cactus Kate) has been talking of slimming.

For now, she is “Sweating with the Socialists” to lose weight and is grateful to Kate:

Thank you HK girl , from all the fat right wing chicks out there, thank you.

So she should join PETA, adopt their dietary practices and help them reach an audience.

PETA’s spread is broadened, hers is lessened.

That’s why Alf has sent a membership application to PETA in her name.

Oh, to be fair to PETA, let’s point out that its media statement was picked up and reproduced on one web-site other than Scoop’s.

Alf tracked it down to

God’s immediate contact – the collection of art creatins by Supreme Master Ching Hai.

That’s the measure of the PR challenge we are setting BB.