Philatelist puts his stamp on Mt Albert campaign

Alf is tempted to move to Wellington. Only temporarily, mind you.

He would like to exercise his democratic right and not vote for Jackson James Wood, editor of the student magazine Salient and a candidate in the Mt Albert by-election.

Wood has properly identified concerns about the entry of Greens co-leader Russel Norman into the tightly contested race.

“Amidst all this talk of splitting the centre-left vote, I think people have lost sight of the real issue here,” Wood said.

“While there is certainly a chance of a centre-left vote split, the real issue is the splitting of the Wellington vote.”

“As the first Wellington-based candidate to declare my intentions towards Mount Albert, I have to admit I was relying heavily on my core support in Wellington to pull me through. This surprise announcement by the Green Party puts all that at risk.”

“I’d like to remind all Wellingtonians—you have no vote in this by-election. And on the 13th June, when you don’t go to the polling booth, I’d urge you to not cast the vote you don’t have for me, Jackson James Wood, and not the Green candidate.”

Wood declared his candidacy in a press release on 21 April.

Crowds numbering into the hundreds assembled in the Victoria University quad today for the declaration of candidacy of Jackson James Wood in the Mt. Albert by-election. Wood, student journalist and part-time philatelist, energised the crowd with a speech attacking the air of complacency surrounding the by-election.

“Too long have the people of Mt. Albert not been taken seriously by the major parties” Wood said.

“A string of low-profile nobodies have been stood by both Labour and National in Mt. Albert in the last twenty-eight years and it is time for this to change.”

To screams of appreciation and wails of lust, Wood announced the central platform of his candidacy.

“I’ve had enough of Auckland being unofficially run by MP’s whose interests truly lay in Wellington – it is time to make it official.”

In a question and answer session following his speech, Wood acknowledged the unconventional nature of campaigning for an electorate he had never visited.

“While it is true I have never visited Mt. Albert, I do in fact live in Mt. Victoria – and anyone who knows their history will accept that is close enough”.

He soon followed up with another statement to express gratitude towards Phil Twyford stepping aside in the race for the Mt. Albert seat.

“While it can hardly be a coincidence that Mr. Twyford has stepped aside only hours after I declared my candidacy, it is still a noble sacrifice which will be remembered” Mr Wood said whilst winking noticeably.

“Whilst I understand the fear he must have felt following my announcement, I respect him taking the noble way out and simply stepping aside in front of me”.

On second thoughts, maybe Alf won’t shift to Wellington. It looks like he can count on everybody in the capital not voting for this bloke, so the eminently unelectable Jackson James Wood doesn’t really need more non-support.

One Response to Philatelist puts his stamp on Mt Albert campaign

  1. Daniel J Miles says:

    As campaign manager for the Wood campaign, I have to thank you for the funniest blog title addressing our campaign. I think it is wonderful somebody is bringing humour to our otherwise very serious attempt at Mt. Albert.

    Youtube clip will be out soon too…

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