There’s a Biblical defence for stoning brats but not (alas) for beating the buggers with alkathene pipes

Alf has lots of sympathy for the 80-year-old bloke who believed he was following the Bible when he used an alkathene pipe to punish a child for stealing $1000 from him.

The man, who has interim named suppression, yesterday pleaded guilty in the New Plymouth District Court to two charges of assaulting a child and assault with a blunt instrument between November 1 and December 7.

When arrested, the man told police that he was frustrated by the child’s behaviour and had been “seeking to correct him in the manner described in the Bible”.


His lawyer, Paul Keegan, said the incident was out of character for the man.

“He is a Christian man and believes firmly in traditional methods of discipline,” he said.

We are falling all over ourselves nowadays to accommodate other religions and their teachings.

Yet we no longer permit Christians to turn to their Bible for guidance, when it comes to disciplining their kids.

That’s why Alf has big problems with our namby-pamby anti-smacking laws.

He would rather be guided by The Good Book than by the growing army of ungodly hand-wringing do-gooders. The more their influence becomes entrenched in our customs and laws, the greater becomes the problem of child crime.

It should be noted that the brat in this case didn’t steal a lolly. The bugger stole $1000.

To help halt the rise in child crime, Alf is particularly partial to the following advice:

Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being. Proverbs 20:30

And even better –

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”
Deuteronomy 21:18-21

Judges such as David Ongley accordingly are on dodgy ground when they insist there is a firm belief in the community that there should be no unnecessary force used to discipline children, that it was not acceptable and required a penalty.

Not in all communities. And when did you last read of law and order problems in Eketahuna?

Trouble is, Alf must confess, he can find no reference to alkathene pipes in his Bible, neither for punishing children or anything much else.

The defendant was allowed interim name suppression until sentencing on February 12.

One Response to There’s a Biblical defence for stoning brats but not (alas) for beating the buggers with alkathene pipes

  1. kg says:

    If they’d had alkathene pipe in biblical times Alf I’m sure the proverb would have read ‘spare the alkathene rod and spoil the child”. 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: