Wanna hear a Stand Up comedian? Then listen to James Sleep and laugh at his silly politicking

Alf has just had his attention drawn to some nonsense published in the name of the Youth Union Movement.

The fledgling lefties – who operate under the name Stand Up – are squawking about the Government’s plans to screw a few more bucks out of issuing driver licences.

The New Zealand youth union movement, Stand Up, is calling on the Government to consider young people, especially young workers, before increasing the cost of driver licences.

IHC fraudster should still be locked up or – worse – sent to Christchurch to await sentencing

Too many bloody judges have gone soft on the crims, as we all know.

This applies to the judge who has allowed a former Wellington restaurateur to await sentencing at her Ohakune lodge – described on Stuff as “plush” – after she admitted stealing almost $600,000 donated to disabled children.

She has been bailed to live at the lodge until sentencing in March.

Well turned out in a black dress, former IHC national fundraising manager Lynn Fiebig, 56, stood impassively in Wellington District Court yesterday. She pleaded guilty to 74 counts of fraudulently using documents, and one of laundering money.

Forget about safety helmets – let’s get back to the days of red warning flags

Safety kit for pedestrians...how many lives would be saved if we had to put gear like this on before strolling down to the pub?

Alf despairs at the persistent attempts to pamper us, cosset us and turn us into a nation of wimps.

Today his list of mollycoddlers is enlarged by the addition of those who demand helmets be made compulsory for board riders after a Marlborough bloke was killed in a motorised-skateboard accident.

Tom Lawrence Kenny, 41, of Havelock, near Blenheim, died about 8pm on Wednesday after he lost control of an electric skateboard and fell, hitting his head on a concrete driveway.

He is the second Kiwi in two years to die after falling from a motorised skateboard. At least five people on non-motorised skateboards died between 1999 and 2008.

Shriek. Two deaths in two years.

A bloody epidemic.

Well, it is in some lunatic quarters.

Nah, you don’t have to plead with Nick Smith to ignore a public clamour

They must be a sheltered breed, your South Canterbury farmers.

Alf makes this supposition on the strength of a Radio NZ report today that such a farmer is warning Environment Minister Nick Smith not to be swayed by public opinion on applications for large-scale dairy farms in the Upper Waitaki region.

Why should he be worried that a politician might be influenced by public opinion?

Sure, we pollies pore through the newspapers and keep tabs on what people are saying on TV and the radio. And we spend heaps of money on polls to keep tabs on the public mood, and when we have measured it, we blissfully ignore it.

Power play in the Waikato – Steve Meier is not the only farmer Transpower must settle with

Alf sympathises with farmers in the Waikato who are warning that an $824 million pylon project due to start next month may lead to standoffs between farmers and Transpower.

He’s not so sure about Matangi farmer Steve Meier, who single-handedly seems to have kept thousands of people without power the other day because of his run-in with Transpower.

As the Herald reports today –

A fire in a shelterbelt of about 50 of Mr Meier’s pines on Monday, believed to have started when lines above them arced, cut power to more than 50,000 homes from Waikato to Cape Reinga.

When Alf first saw him on the TV news the other night, Meier looked decidedly bellicose – rabid, even.

The rebuff of Ratana’s ultimatum – but when did Labour start building its list based on merit?

Alf reckons the NZ Herald is giving good advice to the Labour Party this morning. Because it is good advice, of course, he is confident Labour will ignore it.

The advice is tendered in an editorial that notes the Ratana Church has given Labour an ultimatum. It wants four Ratana candidates for winnable seats on Labour’s list at the next election in exchange for its continued support.

It is a demand the party cannot meet. If it was quietly disposed to do such a deal before, it cannot do it now. The very public demand, issued as a challenge at Ratana Pa on Sunday, will compromise any new Maori candidates Labour might put high on its list next year.

The undermining of confidence – or why Radio NZ should try poking around in chicken guts

The buggers who produce the business bulletin for Radio NZ’s “Morning Report” had good news for us about employment growth when they kicked off their new year.

Then they found some stuff published by the Institute of Economic Research last year and fed that to their listening audience as if to say the more cheery expectation should be ignored.

The outrage is that Radio NZ cherry-picked their data and by-passed the optimistic stuff tucked away in the tables in the NZIER report.

Alf, who believes pessimistic economic news undermines business confidence and exacerbates recessions and slowdowns, was dismayed.

Did the wankers at Radio NZ have a bad Christmas holiday or something?