Coup leader is threatening to pull Fiji out of the Commonwealth – so let’s joyfully watch him do it

Wonder where Barmy Banana learned the art of diplomacy. His practice of it verges on the preposterous.

Alf had a laughing fit this morning on learning that Fiji’s coup leader is threatening to pull out of the Commonwealth, which he says continues to meddle in attempts to move Fiji forward.

That’s somewhat akin to members of the Mongrel Mob threatening to move to another neighbourhood.

“The Commonwealth has not tried to understand or listen to Fiji’s aspirations, but have been posing the same questions over and over again about the return to democracy,” he told the Fiji Broadcasting Corporation yesterday.

“I have clearly stated over and over again, what needs to be done, and when Fiji will return to democracy and this will be done with or without the support of Australia, New Zealand or the Commonwealth,” he said. The Commonwealth suspended Fiji’s membership after it refused to hold elections by this year.

Our own Foreign Minister, Murray McCully, is expected to meet Commodore Bainimarama during next month’s Hong Kong rugby sevens tournament.

Wonder what threat the commodore will make on that occasion.

To pull Fiji out of the Pacific, maybe.

Dunno where he would take it. Into the middle of Antarctica would be good.

No, it wouldn’t help the banana and sugar crops, but it should help to cool down the commodore.

As for any reiteration of the threat to quit the Commonwealth, an obvious retort would be a reiteration of Clark Gable’s line in the 1939 film Gone With the Wind: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

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