Alf for several weeks has wondered if ASB conman Stephen Versalko got his money’s worth from the $2.5 million he paid to a prostitute.
If not, then he was bilked, which is a thoroughly appropriate thing to happen to a conman.
If he was satisfied with the bang (or two) he got for his buck, the lady must be remarkably gifted.
Alas, chances are we will never know.
Alf gave a fleeting thought to raising $2.5 to personally put her talents to the test and report back to the public.
Perhaps – he mused – Parliamentary Services would pick up the tab in the name of the vital research into the sex industry he might undertake as the member for Eketahuna North.
But Alf can never give more than fleeting thoughts to such propositons, because he is a dutiful and faithful husband to Mrs Grumble.
The prostitute who may or not be remarkably gifted has reached a confidential settlement with the ASB bank, which had taken her to court to recover the money.
As the Stuff web-site tells it:
In the High Court at Auckland yesterday afternoon, the 41-year-old Bay of Plenty woman, who has name suppression, had the proceedings against her and companies she owned stopped after negotiating with ASB’s lawyers at a settlement conference which began on Tuesday.
Court officials said ASB would now file papers to have the proceedings thrown out as both parties had reached a confidential settlement. The hearing was closed to the media and public.
Versalko, it might be recalled, was jailed for six years earlier his year for stealing $17.8m from 30 ASB Bank customers.
The Serious Fraud Office discovered Versalko, who worked for the bank between 1997 and 2009, spent $3.35m of his employer’s money on two escorts.
The father-of-three met one of the women at Auckland brothel The Pelican Club. The bank was chasing her in court to recover money Versalko had given her. It said it was “unconscionable” for her to believe it was not stolen.
The second prostitute was paid almost $800,000.
For reasons best know to the bank, the ASB is not pursuing her – at least, Alf assumes it was a her – to recover the money.
The idea of a bank being screwed, of course, appeals immensely to Alf who has a very low opinion of bankers. They have ill-served his constituency.
He would be disappointed to learn the prostitute has been obliged under the secret out-of-court agreement to give back all the money. That would mean she had been screwed.
On the other hand, if the bank recognised she was entitled to keep some of the money she obviously earned for a bit of rumpy-pumpy, it would be fascinating to know what the agreed sum was.
In Alf’s judgement, it ought to have included a hefty surcharge – a premium for providing her services to a banker (lying down with such creatures deserves a bit extra, surely) and another for providing services to a crooked banker, who accordingly would not have been able to lie straight in bed to receive whatever services were provided.