The lesson for card-carrying socialist ministers is to deal with a florist rather than a porn shop

Looks like Labour’s Shane Jones has lost lots of brownie points within his party over some of the purchases he made with his ministerial credit card back in the days when he had the privilege of carrying such a card.

Among other things, he watched pornographic movies.

Shame.

Labour Party members are apt to frown on blokes who watch pornographic movies, although it’s fair to say many Labour blokes probably have done just that, except they did not use ministerial credit cards and hence have been able to keep their habit strictly private.

In the aftermath of what is happening, Alf’s Labour leadership tip is to keep an eye out for Chris Carter.

While Jones’ aspirations of leading the party have been sunk, Carter’s probably have been given a boost.

He used his ministerial card to… guess what?

Lovely. To buy flowers for his partner’s birthday.

Being a caring partner goes down big in the Labour Party, even when (or perhaps especially when) a bloke’s partner is another bloke.

Watching dirty movies in hotel rooms – on the other hand – suggests Jones is handicapped by an overdose of testosterone.

The consequences are apt to be grim, as the Herald reports:

On Tuesday, he will face his caucus colleagues, who include staunchly anti-pornography feminists.

Goody-goody Carter, it should be observed, made a big deal of saying he doesn’t watch “adult” movies.

That should go down big with his feminist colleagues.

Jones, however, is in hot water on the home front as well as within the caucus, you can bet.

He said his wife, Ngareta, found out only yesterday morning, when he phoned her, that he watched “blue movies”.

“Not surprisingly this has injured her. She’s enraged.”

Alf notes with some perturbation that Jones calls them “blue” movies.

But bugger that – blue is the Nats’ colour. Let’s call things as they are – gays are poofters, Jones’ movies are pornography, and watching pornography can be very dangerous for your political health.

By the end of the day yesterday, the Herald reports, even Jones was questioning his future in politics. “The reality is it damages my credibility.”

Asked what the public would think of him, he said: “They will say that Shane has dug a hole for himself and that hole may very well prove to be his grave.

“Whether it’s fatally injured me as a politician, I’ll dwell upon that … I don’t make those decisions in the heat of humiliation.”

Jones (a father of seven, the Herald records) is found to have charged up to 50 porn movies – sometimes two a night – to his credit card while staying in hotels on ministerial business.

As a consequence…

The former Building and Construction Minister is facing certain demotion in Labour’s caucus and demotion from his safe list place of 16 – if he survives the political and personal crisis.

Acting Labour leader Annette King claims to be making no judgment on what Jones or anyone else might do in the privacy of their own rooms.

But she said Jones’ ministerial spending had “let himself down and the taxpayers down.”

Let’s be clear. The money has been repaid.

The same goes for the personal spending of the others.

The issue is whether ministers should be able to dip into the trough afforded by their official credit cards for personal use, even if the money is repaid.

Nevertheless much will be made of what ministers purchased.

And there are lessons in this for anyone wanting to do well in Parliament as a socialist.

Buying flowers for a partner – Alf has long understood – is seen within Labour ranks as much more acceptable than watching porn.

The same evidence of a caring relationship is reflected in Jim Anderton’s spending.

The Progressive leader and his missus had massages at a hotel in Kuala Lumpur.

Jones should take note. Going it alone is a bad look. Labour’s feminists want to see their MPs have the helping hand of a loving partner (preferably of the same gender).