Alf must confess to being somewhat bewildered about the rewards and punishment system in the Labour Party.
He has just been reading in his Herald that one of Labour’s newest MPs, Grant Robertson, is expected to get a big promotion today after three colleagues were demoted for misusing Crown credit cards while they were ministers.
The demotions, of course, had been well and truly signalled.
For their poor judgment in using their ministerial cards, list MP Shane Jones lost his environment and economic development spokesmanships, Te Atatu MP Chris Carter lost foreign affairs responsibility and list MP Mita Ririnui lost forestry.
Chris Carter? Demotion?
Yep, and Alf admits he was wrong to advise his constituents that Carter would come out of this okay because he was considerate to his male partner and bought him flowers, a more acceptable use of a ministerial credit card than watching porn.
Even so, Carter has not been kicked down the ranks as far as Shane Jones.
Trouble is, when it came to picking a poofter who would prosper career-wise from these shenanigans, Alf’s mistake was to pick the wrong poofter.
He did not foresee Phil Goff elevating someone who is unacceptable as a blood donor.
Yep. Robertson was bleating about his rejection by the blood takers a year or so back.
Here’s something people may not know. I am not allowed to give blood, because I am a gay man, or more specifically because I am a man who has had sex with a man within the last ten years. The ‘deferral criteria’ as it is known means that one of the first questions you are asked when you give blood is whether you are a man who has had sex with a man in the last ten years. If you are, you can not give blood.
But let’s get back to Goff’s reshuffle and the prospect of Maryan Street doing nicely out of it.
Mr Robertson, now associate foreign affairs spokesman, and Maryan Street, the trade spokeswoman, both have a strong claim on the plum foreign affairs post.
If Mr Goff gives the job to the more senior MP, Maryan Street, she is likely to shed her tertiary education portfolio.
Mr Robertson, a former student politician, would be a sitter for that and it would pit him against one of National’s best-performing ministers in Steven Joyce.
This is another advance for Labour’s gender-unhinged pollies.
Her own CV tells us:
I am gay and have a partner and one daughter.
Ha! But Labour hasn’t finished yet.
Climate change spokesman Charles Chauvel is expected to pick up environment. Along with Nanaia Mahuta, he will join Labour’s front bench.
Chauvel, of course, is….
Bang on. He’s a bloke who has another bloke as his partner, which has got to make him another poofter.
His CV says (in some parts boasts):
Over the past 20 years, I have worked hard as a party activist, a union official, a volunteer in the community sector, a local university graduate, a lawyer with a distinguished career, a business owner in Wellington and overseas, a political candidate and now a Labour MP. My partner David co-owns a Wellington-based business based in Central Wellington that employs over 30 people.
As a red-blooded bloke, poor old Shane Jones doesn’t stand much of a chance against that lot.
As for the promotion of Mahuta, it so happens she came in at number three on Cactus Kate’s recent list of the Ten Worst Troughers.
3. Nanaia “the Trough-le Hunter” Mahuta – the spending on caviar was a disgrace. Made more a disgrace that Mahuta represents Maori in an electorate of poverty, under a reign of Maori treaty troughing that has yet to see any money from the well-healed Tainui benefit everyday Maori. Think of the hysteria if Paul Reynolds was caught dining out on caviar on the account of Telecom shareholders and times it by a million, because that is how disappointed Maori should be with this class A trougher. When caught on the caviar she blames not herself but a staff member.
But again, the way Alf sees things, you’ve got to consider Labour’s desperation to win back the Maori vote.
Nanaia is one of the Tainui mob, and it would be a bad look to be demoting her as well as Shane Jones and that bugger who bought a bike (whose name slips Alf’s mind).
Dunno if she also has hairy legs, but if she does, it would have been a plus.