A pointless pinko post – they scoff at a Young Nat for failing to lower himself to their PC standards

July 24, 2010

The bloody socialists have seen something preculiar in a Young Nat being unable to answer a ridiculous question.

The Standard has posted an item headed I’d phone a friend but they’re all Young Nats too

Alf supposes the heading is intended to be snide.

But he is utterly bemused by the item posted beneath it.

Halfcaste interviews a selection of Young Nats at their recent conference.

Interviewer: “What’s your favourite tribe?”

Young Nat: “To be honest I don’t have a favourite Maori tribe”

Interviewer: “Top three?”

Young Nat: “Ahh… I don’t think I know…”

Interviewer: “Don’t know any Maori tribes?”

Young Nat: “Noooo… No, hang on, Maori tribes… no sorry…”

So why should a Young Nat – or anyone, come to think of it – be expected to have a favourite tribe?

A favourite coalition partner MP, maybe, such as Pita Sharples.

But a favourite tribe?

The Young Nat similarly can be forgiven when he says he doesn’t know a Maori tribe.

Alf assumes such a Nat has led a perfectly normal life so far without encountering a tribe.

This does not necessarily mean he has not encountered Maori, or does not have Maori friends.

The point of The Standard post therefore is a mystery except, perhaps, to imply that the Young Nat is insufficiently savvy or PC on Maori matters to pass muster with the the socialists, which seems to Alf to be a badge of honour he can wear proudly.


When building has been vetoed, the building plans might just as well be used for dunny paper

July 24, 2010

It took a while for Alf to find out why a multi-millionaire’s family has been denied approval to build two houses on their own property on Waiheke Island.

There’s a whiff of objections being raised just because the buggers are rich.

Objectors to the housing plans wailed about the mischief that would be done to some old bones on the property.

But the bones weren’t the undoing of the Spencers.

The Herald tells the story today:

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The Code of Practice has been revised, but it doesn’t seem to deal with hosts being cuckolded

July 23, 2010

Bugger me, Alf muttered in his inimitable way on learning of yet another outrageous demand of our fiscally strapped public services.

A bloke on Auckland’s North Shore (and we should not be surprised to learn an Aucklander is involved) wants the Education Ministry to issue guidelines on sexual matters.

Alas, the report in the Herald does not make plain to whom this bloke believes the guidelines should be issued.

But Alf’s strong suspicion is that the bloke might want them issued to his missus, 45 years old and frisky, because he found her having sex with a teenage foreign student the couple were hosting.

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Booze, beaches and brothers – a deadly concoction when you throw in stupidity and car-surfing

July 22, 2010

Alf is bothered by the ruling of a judge who has decided against sending an idiot to the slammer.

A judge says a man who killed his younger brother in a drunken car-surfing accident on Mt Maunganui beach would be behind bars if it was “someone else’s kid”.

Instead, Luke McGregor was sentenced yesterday to five months’ home detention after the accident that claimed the life of his brother Jordan.

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If making quad bikes safer is the smart thing to do, then don’t expect MPs to get it done

July 21, 2010

Some people seem to think passing a new law will take care of just about anything, including the prevention of death and maybe baldness, too.

Take the case of the Wellington coroner, a bloke called Ian Smith, who is reported to have denounced Parliament for failing to bolster laws to make quad bikes safer.

He reckons such changes could have saved the life of a young beekeeper.

Maybe they would.

But we have laws to deal with murderers, and they don’t stop murders; we have laws to deal with thieves, and they don’t stop theft; we even have a Fiscal Responsibility Act to foster fiscal responsibility, although it can not ensure fiscal responsbility, especially under a Labour government.

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Here’s how we spare future generations from the ill-effects of Labour government – we stop breeding

July 20, 2010

Kiwis have become strong on coupling, but not on breeding.

A bemused Alf makes this observation after reading about Statistics New Zealand family and household projections that show we had more couples without children at home than couples with children at home in 2008. This was the first time this had happened since at least World War II.

Traditional families of Mum, Dad and the kids are projected to shrink further from 31 per cent of all adults aged 18 and over in 2006 to just 23 per cent by 2031.

Couples without children at home are tipped to rise from 30 per cent to 36 per cent of adults, and adults living alone or with flatmates or in other non-family households will rise from 20 per cent to 23 per cent.

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Betcha at least one of the thieving buggers is a descendant of someone like Ned Kelly

July 19, 2010

Alf is by no means astonished to learn of the antics of the group of Australian schoolboys who were caught shoplifting $6000 worth of goods in Queenstown.

Never mind that stuff about the buggers coming from an elite Catholic college.

The fact is they are Australians. Hence they are bound to be the great, great (several times) grandsons of convicts shipped to the colonies back in the 1800s and so are genetically programmed to be light-fingered.

Between then and now the Aussies (suffering from this urge to pilfer) have stolen the pavlova, Phar Lap and enough indigenous people to make up for a group called The Stolen Generation.

Police said the shoplifting spree happened between 2pm and 6pm, and affected seven stores.

R&R Sport sales assistant Kate Long told the Otago Daily Times shop staff became suspicious and questioned the group after they took ski garments into the changing rooms.

Some of the boys ran off when challenged, but were quickly found waiting for a bus with teachers.

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