Or the woman driver who – if Alf has guessed correctly – pressed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
But William Hill, one of the UK’s largest bookmaking outfits, is placing the odds of the next Stig being a lady at 4-1.
Gamblers can also bet on what colour the next Stig will wear.
Pink – good grief – is holding 5-1 odds.
At Autoblog, Alf found a bit of conjecture on who a Lady Stig might be.
We’re going with Sabine Schmitz. She clearly has the ability, plus she’s already friendly with the Top Gear crew.
Actually, that’s not a bad bet at all – excuse us while we place a few international calls…
The conjecture follows the British High Court’s refusal to grant the BBC an injunction blocking the publication of Ben Collins’ autobiography.
The consequence of the court case was to reveal that Collins is The Stig.
The mystery surrounding the identity of The Stig had been one of the show’s big attractions.
The secret identify of The Stig, who appears on Top Gear wearing white overalls and helmet with a blacked out visor, has elevated him to cult status among fans of the show.
Only six people, including Top Gear presenters Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, were said to have known his identify for certain before Mr Collins, 35, was outed as the mysterious driver.
The BBC is thought to have spent up to £100,000 of taxpayers’ money in a failed bid to prevent the identity from being revealed.
The BBC had taken legal action to block publication by HarperCollins.
And fair enough.
It claimed the faceless driver was bound by a confidentiality agreement.
The corporation also claimed that revealing The Stig’s identity would spoil viewers’ enjoyment of the BBC Two programme, which it certainly has done in Alf’s case.
But Mr Justice Morgan rejected the injunction request.
Oh, and The Telegraph tells us the prospect of a woman driver is rating higher with the betting outfits than the prospect of the job going to former Formula One stars like David Coulthard and Damon Hill.
It also notes that Top Gear star Jeremy Clarkson placed an advert under the heading “Driver Wanted” in his column in The Sun.
Referring to the regular jokes the Top Gear team use to introduce The Stig on the show, he said: “Top Gear, the motoring show on BBC2, is looking for a driver with a high level of racing experience to be The Stig.
“The successful applicant need not speak English, or indeed any language at all, but he or she must hate Boy Scouts, be able to punch a horse to the ground, have eyes that blink sideways and, most important of all, understand that no one, under any circumstances, should ever rat on their friends.”
But don’t write off Ben Collins, because The Telegraph refers to reports he has been signed up by James Grant management, one of TV’s most powerful talent management agencies.
This could pave the way for him to be the face of a new show that would pit him against Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond on a Top Gear-style car programme.
Alf will wait to see how that works out.
For now, he is musing on what might happen if The Stig is given a sex change.
Alf was especially disconcerted when he learned that one of his sisters – who now lives overseas – fancied her chances of taking over from Collins. She would insist on wearing a purple helmet.
If you want to take a sure bet, it’s that she won’t get the job.
Alf is confident he has scuttled her prospects by sending this picture of her driving skills to Clarkson and his team.