So what has Paul Henry been up to now? Who knows – but let’s report it anyway

A splendid example of a story with vertually no substance and nothing much else to commend it to the reading public pops up in the HOS today.

More than one sad scribe was assigned to writing much ado about bugger all, because the by-line attributes this story of absolutely no consequence to “staff reporters”.

We learn from the pain-staking investigations of these zealous scribes that Paul Henry, his daughter and a friend of his daughter spent some 90 minutes at the Auckland District Court “this week”.

Presumably the newspaper means last week, because today is Sunday and Sunday marks the start of a new week.

Anything else?

Not much.

Our scandal diggers did talk to Henry, it seems, but he didn’t say much.

Someone at TVNZ, however, said Henry was not present for any criminal matters and he was not listed on any criminal court documents.

So that’s it.

Paul Henry was approached for comment when he came out of the court 90 minutes after going in with his daughter and her friend.

He said nothing of consequence.

Wow.

Hold the presses. We have a scoop here.

And what does the scoop tell us?

Here’s what:

For TV’s most outspoken host, Paul Henry was unusually quiet as he left the Auckland District Court this week.

“It was a small matter,” he told the Herald on Sunday, but refused to say more.

TVNZ was also unwilling to elaborate. A spokeswoman said Henry was not present for any criminal matters and “it had nothing to do with him”. He was not listed on any criminal court documents.

Henry was accompanied by his daughter Bella and one of her friends for the 90-minute visit to the court building.

But wait. There’s more.

The bloody staff reporters then tell us what we already knew, that a week earlier Henry had accepted the People’s Choice Award at the Qantas Film and Television awards with an expletive-laden speech.

The footage of the speech has since gone viral, becoming one of the fastest-hit clips on TVNZ’s YouTube page.

Alf is not much interested in the reprising of old news.

But based on the tiny clue given by Henry – that whatever happened was a small thing – he is inclined to rule out any connection with his gob, which is huge, or his ego, which is enormous.

Hmm. But what about his willy?

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