Those Chilean miners would not have been imperilled if they had taken a kaumatua’s spiritual advice

The spooks are on the march.

Last heard of somewhere in the bowels of Te Papa, a place best avoided by menstruating and pregnant women, the wee buggers have infested the Waitomo Caves, too.

Alf has it on good authority they have travelled world-wide and account – among other things – for the recent Chilean mine collapse.

Or rather, a failure to observe the right protocols in places where the spirits have taken up residence led inevitably to the collapse.

The immediate news is that the Waitomo caves have been reopened five years after a fire destroyed the entrance to the famous tourist attraction.

But as TV3 reported last night, two caves won’t be open to the public.

3 News said it had been allowed a rare visit into one that contains an ancient carving and another near a burial ground.

But its reporter said visits to both are not encouraged.

Some of the caves seem to be off-limits, but it’s not because they are dangerous – it’s for spiritual reasons.

Some tourists and locals are hesitant to go too far underground – some said it was the Maori hauntings.

A bloke called Chris Templar, who works in the caves, showed 3 News an ancient carving and took the TV crew into caves near a burial ground.

He says the hauntings happen when people take Maori protocol too lightly.

“I nearly got myself killed at a cave that collapsed on me and it was because I didn’t abide by the protocols,” Mr Templar says.

Ah. A failure to abide by the protocols.

Dunno what the protocols might be, but a failure to abide by the buggers obviously explains the collapse that resulted in 33 blokes being trapped for several weeks in a Chilean mine.

Since they were hauled to the surface, a coal mine collapse in Colombia has trapped two more workers.

But wait. There’s more –

Days later, four more miners were trapped underground in Ecuador. And in China, a coal mine explosion Saturday trapped 16 underground.

In each case, rescuers scrambled to save lives.

In Colombia, authorities kept digging for four days before finding the miners’ bodies. In Ecuador, efforts continued today to rescue two miners trapped underground since Friday, with President Rafael Correa personally getting involved.

In China, hundreds of rescue workers searched until today following the accident Saturday.

Industry insiders say the intense efforts to rescue these trapped miners, rather than writing them off for dead, may be one of the lasting impacts of the San Jose mine rescue.

A great deal of rescue time and money obviously could be saved by finding out where the spirits have settled so the appropriate protocols can be observed.

It is a challenging business.

Alf has found plenty of spirits of the alcoholic sort in bottles, and he has done his duty to the safety of the rest of us by demolishing the contents, but he has never ever seen spirits of the haunting sort in caves, artefacts or anywhere else.

He understands it helps enormourly to bring in a trained kaumatua to find them for you.

This immediately and oh so obviously opens up a a huge export opportunity.

Our kaumatua should be making their services available to the mining industry around the world, advising on where miners and their drills can or can not go and instructing them in the application of life-saving protocols.

The tourist industry and the adventure industry can be similarly advised before people go into caves from which they might never emerger.

The export receipts – fittingly – would be recorded by the statisticians among the “invisibles”.

Gotta sign off now and find Pita Sharples, to let him know we are on to a nice little earner here.

The spooks are on the march.

Last spotted somewhere in the bowels of Te Papa, a place best avoided by menstruating and pregnant women, the wee buggers have infested the Waitomo Caves, too.

Alf has it on good authority they have travelled world-wide and account – among other things – for the recent Chilean mine collapse.

The immediate news is that the Waitomo caves have been reopened five years after a fire destroyed the entrance to the famous tourist attraction.

But as TV3 reported last night, two caves won’t be open to the public.

3 News said it had been allowed a rare visit into one that contains an ancient carving and another near a burial ground.

But its reporter said visits to both are not encouraged.

Some of the caves seem to be off-limits, but it’s not because they are dangerous – it’s for spiritual reasons.

Some tourists and locals are hesitant to go too far underground – some said it was the Maori hauntings.

A bloke called Chris Templar, who works in the caves, showed 3 News an ancient carving and took the TV crew into caves near a burial ground.

He says the hauntings happen when people take Maori protocol too lightly.

“I nearly got myself killed at a cave that collapsed on me and it was because I didn’t abide by the protocols,” Mr Templar says.

Ah. A failure to abide by the protocols.

Dunno what the protocols might be, but a failure to abide by the wee rascals probably explains the collapse that resulted in 33 blokes being trapped for several weeks in a Chilean mine.

Since they were hauled to the surface, a coal mine collapse in Colombia has trapped two more workers.

But wait. There’s more –

Days later, four more miners were trapped underground in Ecuador. And in China, a coal mine explosion Saturday trapped 16 underground.

In each case, rescuers scrambled to save lives.

In Colombia, authorities kept digging for four days before finding the miners’ bodies. In Ecuador, efforts continued today to rescue two miners trapped underground since Friday, with President Rafael Correa personally getting involved.

In China, hundreds of rescue workers searched until today following the accident Saturday.

Industry insiders say the intense efforts to rescue these trapped miners, rather than writing them off for dead, may be one of the lasting impacts of the San Jose mine rescue.

A great deal of rescue time and money obviously could be saved by finding out where the spirits have settled.

It is a challenging business.

Alf has found plenty of spirits of the alcoholic sort in bottles, and gone about demolishing them, but he has never ever seen one of the haunting sort in caves, taonga or what-have-you.

He understands it helps enormourly to bring in a trained kaumatua to find them for you.

This obviously opens up an export opportunity.

Our kaumatua should make their services available to the mining industry around the world, advising on where miners and their drills can or can not go.

The same goes for advising the tourist industry and the adventure industry on cave visits.

The export receipts – fittingly – would be recorded by the statisticians among the “invisibles”.

Gotta go find Pita Sharples and let him know we are on to a nice little earner here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: