Cooking doyen’s admission of dithering should disqualify her from being dubbed a dame

Guess which one is a wee bit embarrassed.

Alf has gone into a steep decline this morning, on learning he has missed out yet again on a gong in the New Year’s Honours.

He wonders what more he can do to be dubbed a knight, bearing in mind his long service to his community and his admiration for the monarchy.

He also questions why awards are being dished out to people who are reluctant to express their undiluted delight but – to the contrary – proteset that they are underserving or some such. If they are reluctant to pick up these honours, then indeed they are undeserving.

All Whites coach Ricki Herbert – as reported by Stuff – shows how it should be done.

Among 13 new Companions of the New Zealand Order of Merit, he said his CNZM was “absolutely fantastic”.

“I’m blown away by it really. It is all a recognition of how far football has come.”

But his captain, Ryan Nelsen, said his honour was humbling, but “a wee bit embarrassing”.

A wee bit embarrassing?

What’s wrong with the bastard?

Worse than that, cooking doyenne Dame Alison Holst , a household name for nearly 50 years,

…admits she initially “dithered” over whether she should accept her honour – not because she didn’t want it, but because it was “a bit of a shock”

Dithering should disqualify people from these awards, too.


Alf is adding the name of author James McNeish to his list of undeserving award winners.

The bugger told the Herald he had to go to bed for a few hours to convince himself his knighthood wasn’t a hoax.

The author, whose work spans five decades and many genres, said that when he received the letter telling him he was to be made a Knight Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit, he was sure it couldn’t be true.

“I thought, ‘Well, this doesn’t seem right’, so I got into bed and slept for a few hours and thought, ‘When I wake up, I’ll know if it is real or not’. When I woke up, I found that it was. But it was a surprise, a real surprise,” he said.

Alf sometimes goes to bed to sleep off a heavy night at the Eketahuna Club.

But having to go to bed to sort out whether it’s knight or day is absurd.

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