When a packet of Pineapple Lumps is your idea of plunder, locking up looks highly appropriate

December 22, 2010

Waiariki MP Te Ururoa Flavell has very namby-pamby ideas about law and order.

He is reported today to have criticised a Rotorua judge for jailing a teenager for 12 months for breaching a sentence of home detention.

Never mind that the brat concerned had got off lightly in the first place after being involved in a robbery at a superette where the daft buggers pretended to have a gun.

Having been given a lucky break by being sentenced to home detention, what did she do?

Oh yes. She breached her home detention conditions by cutting off her ankle bracelet and leaving the address where she was supposed to be serving her sentence.

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Did the firemen know the bird they were rushing to rescue had fallen from a nest?

December 22, 2010

Stop the press...this story is better than that ACC stuff.

As Alf understands it, journalists call it the Silly Season – the period over Christmas when the country more or less shuts down and most of us bugger off on holiday.

During this period all sorts of pap can make its way into print, although the publishers do not reduce the cover price of their newspapers to match the lowering of their standards and the reduction in their page numbers.

The Silly Season has hit us a tad early this year (although Mrs Grumble reckons the media  have been lowering their standards for some time).

Stuff regales us today with the story – would you believe? – of a tiny baby bird that caused a full-sized flap in Upper Hutt yesterday when it fell from its nest.

Some of Alf’s mates would take care of the failed fledgling by stomping on it.

Those with a more delicate nature are apt to ring the SPCA for advice on how to handle such situations.

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Consumer watchdog gives Sanitarium a nip but Weet-Bix is best served (or drowned) with many nips

December 21, 2010

A bit dry for Alf's tastes...but several nips of good Scotch will give it a lift.

Alf has always mistrusted muesli munchers and vegetarians and their regard for the well-being of all God’s creatures. If The Almighty had not intended us to eat meat, he would not have given us the wit to build barbies and dig hangi pits.

Anyway, after listening to some Labour’s MPs in the House for a few hours, Alf finds it difficult to draw the boundary line between intelligent animal life and a vegetable state.

His jaundiced view of those who eschew meat is reinforced today by news of strange goings-on at Sanitarium, an outfit which promotes health and well-being.

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The case of an infant who consumed his mum’s methadone is sad – but it doesn’t justify new laws

December 20, 2010

No, child, they are not lollies.

Alf was a tad perturbed to read of a coroner’s namby-pamby calls for child-proof packaging on medicines.

A youngster has died after scoffing his mum’s methodone. This – of course – is sad.

But the coroner is blaming…who?

Oh, yes. The Government.

In this case it happened to be a Labour Government, which had been looking into an initiative for child-proof packaging on medicines but apparently abandoned the idea in 2007.

This decision is being linked to the death that was the subject of the coroner’s hearing.

According to the report at Stuff, going ahead with the idea could have saved the life of a four-year-old Upper Hutt boy accidently poisoned last year.

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Lotto dog’s ticket was one-way to India – here’s hoping he doesn’t finish up in a pot of vindaloo

December 19, 2010

If he digs under the fence, his Lotto luck might not last long.

Alf is dismayed at learning the fate of Wilson the Lotto dog, the wire fox terrier which starred in an advertisement in which he travels the world to return a winning ticket to his master.

The poor creature is in serious danger of straying to places like Kohima, the hilly capital of Nagaland, located at the foot of a mountain. A tourism site spells out the nature of the threat –

The central market in Kohima is a colorful place where tribal people sell delicacies such as insect grub and curried dog meat. 

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Without a good old-fashioned blood-letting at the Ministry of Health, how will it get better?

December 18, 2010

But if there are no bits left over, won't the restructuring be a waste of time?

Dunno what exactly is going at the Ministry of Health.

It certainly doesn’t look like a blood-letting.

But the Public Service Association is bleating that “a substantial number of redundancies” may result from the latest restructuring.

According to Radio New Zealand –

Uncertainty surrounds the future of many jobs at the ministry, which is introducing a new policy advice structure in February.

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What’s that strong pong of hypocrisy? Ah, it’s coming from Goff’s housing arrangements

December 17, 2010

The taxpayers keep filling this one for me, so why should I feed from my own trough?

Alf can’t say it better than Whaleoil, when it comes to discussing the rank hypocrisy of Labour’s Phil Goff. Constituents should read his post on the subject today.

Essentially, Whaleoil reminds us how Labour has persistently been putting the boot into our Bill English over the double dipping thing, perfectly legal though it happened to be.

But – as we learned last night – Goff is up to much the same sort of lark.

Alf will only add to Whaleoil’s account that he was thoroughly pissed off in the House this week when Amy Adams was doing a splendid job of extracting important stuff from English about the economy at Question Time.

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