If piddling on the news media was an Olympic event, Winston Peters would take the gold

But if you can piss on a journalist, go for it...

It hasn’t taken Win too long to show he is back in form for the 2011 general election.

His game is to tell news media bugger all, besides what he wants to tell them, in which department he can be remarkably voluble. But for the rest of it, just treat them with contempt and their questions as preposterous. He’s a class player.

He quickly put a few points on the board yesterday after announcing Andrew Williams as the candidate to run for New Zealand First in North Shore.

Williams will run against former broadcaster Maggie Barry, for National, and Labour’s Ben Clark.

This is the bloke who came fourth in the race for the mayoralty in October with just over 3800 votes. He was a local councillor between 2001 and 2004.

Oh, and Alf recalls him being mayor of the North Shore too, for a while.

He had an aptitude for getting himself into the headlines, didn’t he?

His exploits were regularly recorded by The Whale, who is limbering up to recall some of the more fascinating ones.

It seems this was not the official announcement and Peters was jumping the gun.

The evidence for this?

Party leader Winston Peters said: ”He has been nominated as a candiate, he has been approved and the board will be announcing it shortly.”

Then came an opportunity to tell the hacks to piss off with their quest for more information.

Peters pounced on it.

He refused to say how long Williams has been a member of the party, citing privacy laws. ”It’s none of your business,” he said.

One nil.

Peters promoted Williams, 52, as a bloke with “significant experience” in local government and international trade ”and he has got many other qualities as well”.

The hacks from the media, by wanting to learn more, gave him several more scoring opportunities.

He did not disappoint.

Peters was unconcerned Williams was defeated last year. “So, everybody who got rejected as Auckland mayor is not a sound person to stand for Parliament? Such a stupid question.”

The media had no time to reorganise its defences before he struck again.

Asked if Williams would become a spokesman for any issue, Peters responded with: “God, you dick. We will announce the spokespeople in the fullness of time.”

Alf suspects a teeny bit of misreporting has come into the next account of what he said.

He dismissed Williams reputation for sending ”aggressive” late night emails to other politicians, including John Key.

”He sent text messages at a time when Parliament was rising at 12 at night. It’s as clear as day that it was someone who was sending curse, cogent, on the point text messages at that hour of the night.”

Alf suspects he did not say “curse”, because in this context it does not make sense.

It’s likely he said either “terse” or “curt”.

No matter.

As Stuff reminds us today, the missive to Key was sent at 3.30am and Williams later admitted he could not recall sending the text, blaming painkillers.

He also messaged Jonathan Coleman, Wayne Mapp and Murray McCully, as Parliament debated super city legislation.

But what about that piddling incident?

Peters handled this with typical aplomb.

He blamed other reports on Williams’ behaviour, such as urinating against a Takapuna tree, on the media.

Alf supposes he will be taking Andrews aside for special tutoring in the art of pissing.

It’s the press that should be pissed on. Not municipal urinals or trees.

One Response to If piddling on the news media was an Olympic event, Winston Peters would take the gold

  1. If you listen to the audio on the Stuff web site:


    Then it’s pretty clear that he didn’t say “God, you dick” to the reporter. Sounds much more like “crikey dick” to me. The Dominion Post have clearly got this wrong and as a member of the New Zealand Press Council, have an obligation to apologise to Peters.

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