If Tiger Woods must be called an arsehole, he is a Cablinasian arsehole, not a black one

Look hard at this, Steve - he's not black.

Kiwi bag carrier Steve Williams gets an undue amount of publicity for a golf caddie.

A flair for shooting his mouth off, then saying sorry, helps explain what gets him into the headlines.

His latest indiscretion has been to call Tiger Woods a black arsehole.

This was wrong.

No, Alf is making no judgement on whether Woods is an arsehole. He is in no position to say, although he does recognise that Tiger seems to have been a prodigious shagger.

But the record should show that Woods is neither black nor an unadulterated African-American.

He is of mixed race and has strived over the years to impress this on people.

Steve Williams should know this, after working for several years as Woods’ caddie (and pocketing a handsome income as a consequence).

For what it’s worth, Woods has described himself as Cablinasian, which means Williams should have described him as a Cablinasian arsehole.

Whether that would have been any more or less racist than calling him a black areshole is open to debate, although Williams maintains he is not a racist and says the remark about his former employer was made in jest.

Yesterday Williams told broadcaster Murray Deaker that when he made the comments at an award function for caddies during the HSBC Champions tournament in Shanghai, everybody “laughed their heads off”.

“[The controversy is] just so offbeat it’s a joke … It’s making a mountain hill out of a molehole [sic]. ”

But the Herald today is reporting that the outburst has the golfing world questioning whether Australian golfer Adam Scott, whose sponsors include Rolex and Titleist, will keep Williams as a caddie.

One tour source said: “It’s going to be difficult for Adam Scott if sponsors think he has a racist carrying his bag.”

This Scott bloke seems a decent sort, for an Aussie who earns a living whacking his balls from one hole to the next. He has said “absolutely” Williams will be working for him the next two weeks in Australia.

That includes the Australian Open, where he will play with Tiger Woods.

“I don’t see it being an issue moving forward,” Scott said.

PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem and European Tour chief executive George O’Grady have issued a statement, saying they spoke for the International Federation of PGA Tours that it “feels strongly there is no place for any form of racism in ours or any other sport”, ESPN reported.

“We consider the remarks of Steve Williams, as reported, entirely unacceptable in whatever context,” the statement said.

“We are aware that he has apologised fully and we trust we will not hear remarks ever gain. Based on this, we consider the matter closed, and we will have no further comment.”

But here’s the thing.

Why employ “black” as an adjective in front of the “areshole” bit of your slur joke.

Tiger Woods has a multiracial heritage.

He acknowledged this by inventing the word “Cablinasian” to describe his own ethnicity. Cablinasian is a combination of the words caucasion, black, Indian (Native American) and Asian.

Woods’ mother, Kultida, is a native of Thailand whose own ancestry includes Chinese and Dutch, according to various reports over the years.

Woods’ father, Earl, was an African-American whose heritage, according to various sources, also included white, Chinese and Native American ancestors.

So Woods’ heritage is predominantly black and Asian, and also includes white and Native American ancestry.

Tiger Woods – as Alf sees it – deserves enormous respect over his attitude to his ethnicity.

This attitude is clearly reflected in a media statement he once issued on the matter.

The purpose of this statement is to explain my heritage for the benefit of members of the media who may be seeing me play for the first time. It is the final and only comment I will make regarding the issue.

My parents have taught me to always be proud of my ethnic background. Please rest assured that is, and always will be, the case – past, present, and future.

The media has portrayed me as African-America; sometimes, Asian. In fact, I am both.

Yes, I am the product of two great cultures, one African-American and the other Asian.

On my father’s side, I am African-American. On my mother’s side, I am Thai. Truthfully, I feel very fortunate, and EQUALLY PROUD, to be both African-American and Asian!

The critical and fundamental point is that ethnic background and/or composition should NOT make a difference. It does NOT make a difference to me. The bottom line is that I am an American…and proud of it!

That is who I am and what I am. Now, with your cooperation, I hope I can just be a golfer and a human being.

Signed,

TIGER WOODS

Alf would commend this media statement to the attention of the heaps of Kiwis who insist on being known as Maori first and New Zealanders second, even though they happen to have more non-Maori than Maori blood coursing through their veins.

One Response to If Tiger Woods must be called an arsehole, he is a Cablinasian arsehole, not a black one

  1. Ian says:

    I don’t know about the mixed race bit. Adolf F. takes huge, read absurd, delight in calling President Obama a jackassed blackass. And the Fink is never wrong. Or so he says. But yeah, what a moron Williams is. He had a job many dream about and then throws his toys out of the cot when things don’t go his way. Waaahhh.

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