The Worm turned for Phil Goff, maybe, but who wants help from a spineless parasite?

Alf was out on the hustings last night, hoping to convert any lefties or greenies in his audience to vote for him on Saturday and so (all going well) give him 100 per cent of the vote in Eketahuna North. Hence he was much too busy to pay any attention to the leaders’ debate on TV3.

He was surprised, therefore, to read this morning that Labour leader Phil Goff has had a boost in the final days of the campaign after being judged the winner by TV3’s “worm”.

As Stuff reports, the debate between Goff and The Boss came as National tries to point out the parlous future that lies in store if NZ First holds the balance of power.

Alf notes with some bemusement that Goff last night refused to shut the door on a deal with Winston Peters, despite the New Zealand First leader’s vow not to give his support to either major party and instead vote issue by issue.

Didn’t Helen Clark remind him (if he needed reminding) of how Peters made life difficult for her government?

But most eyes were on how the leaders performed with the return of “the worm” – which tracked the reactions of a panel of undecided voters and viewers at home through smartphone devices.

Goff was the clear winner with the worm, with the panel liking what he said on issues including the cost of living, the gap between the rich and poor and asset sales.

It seems other bloggers have drawn the same conclusion as Alf about all this nonsense – that the audience was stacked with pinkos – because:

During parts of the debate, the worm dived almost as soon as Key had started speaking.

Key quite rightly pointed out after the debate that the “worm” audience was only “one group of people” and that, obviously, lots of people would have watched the debate without access to the worm.

Alf is relaxed.

If Goff is getting a buzz from the support of a worm – well, let’s looks at what worms are all about.

Most animals called “worms” are invertebrates, which means they have no backbone.

Invertebrate animals commonly called “worms” include annelids (earthworms), nematodes (roundworms), flatworms, marine polychaete worms (bristle worms), marine nemertean worms (“bootlace worms”), marine Chaetognatha (arrow worms) and insect larvae such as caterpillars, grubs, and maggots.

Various types of worm occupy a small variety of parasitic niches, living inside the bodies of other animals, which sounds exactly like your leftie bludger living off the taxpayer

Some of the buggers can’t even move by themselves.

Worm species differ in their abilities to move about on their own. Many species have bodies with no major muscles, and cannot move on their own—they must be moved by forces or other animals in their environment.

Worms are sometimes used as a metaphor of putrefaction or corruption, according to Wikipedia (a corpse may be said to be “fed to the worms”).

But at the end of the day, under our electoral system, The Worm does not get a vote.

Alf accordingly will lose no sleep about what it did on TV3 last night.

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