Alf has brought the BBC into his blog for the second successive day.
But whereas yesterday his interest was triggered by a boorish broadcaster’s dragging New Zealand into his badinage, today he will berate the Beeb for being much too bloody precious.
Its avoidance of simple English so as not to offend dwarfs is best illustrated by examining how other media have headlined reports of the same event on their web sites.
Top marks for succinctly summing things up go to Newser: Tosser Cripples Dwarf.
The Sydney Morning Herald headlined its story with Dwarf left wheelchair-bound after being dropped on night out celebrating his birthday.
Scenic Queenstown highlighted the local angle: Dwarf blames Queenstown bar antics for inspiring attack.
The Week tells us: Paralysed dwarf blames England’s Mike Tindall for his injuries.
But the BBC is much more coy: Man with restricted growth injured in street attack.
It kicks off its report –
A man with restricted growth from Somerset has been left with serious back injuries after being picked up and dropped on the ground.
Martin Henderson, 37, was celebrating his birthday with friends at the White Horse pub, in Wincanton, on 7 October.
The attack took place when he went outside the pub for a cigarette.
This, of course, attests to the truth of those warnings about smoking being bad for your health.
Henderson, 37, is 4ft 6in (1.3m) tall.
He was dropped from a height of about three feet (1m) by his attacker who was about 5ft 8in (1.7m) tall.
He suffered tissue damage and the attack worsened a pre-existing condition known as spinal stenosis, the narrowing of the central spinal canal or side root canals of the spine which causes pressure on the nerves in the canal, leading to pain in the lower back and legs.
“I’m having a wheelchair made to measure because I’m finding it hard to walk long distances,” Mr Henderson said.
Police have not been able to identify the culprit.
So what’s Mike Tindall got to do with this?
Not much, as it happens.
But The Telegraph colourfully tells us –
Martin Henderson – celebrating his 37th birthday with friends – was thrown into the air by a hooded thug in a copycat of the shamed England rugby star Mike Tindall’s behaviour in the summer.
Tindall was kicked out of the Elite Player Squad squad and fined £25,000 after a Rugby Football Union investigation into his drunken night in a dwarf-themed Queenstown bar.
In the copycat incident a month later, Mr Henderson suffered damage to nerve tissue in his spine causing his legs to go numb after landing on his back on the pavement.
The Telegraph reminds us the incident happened one month after England rugby players were caught ‘dwarf throwing’ at a bar during a drunken night out.
The team’s boozy antics followed their first match victory against Argentina in the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand.
Newser throws in the tidbit that Mr Henderson appeared in two Harry Potter movies.
He is quoted as saying he believes his attacker was inspired by the antics of the England rugby team, who had been in the news weeks earlier for attending an event called the “Mad Midget Weekender” at a bar in New Zealand.
“I guess I was an easy target,” he says. “People’s attitudes to me when I go out can be pretty cruel. Most are OK but you get the odd idiot who will make fun and start laughing at me. You just have to ignore it but this is the first time I have been picked up and thrown about.”
Gotta feel sorry for him.
Despite regular hospital visits for further scans and physiotherapy, he now has to use a zimmer frame to walk and doctors have told him he will need a wheelchair for longer journeys.