Alf has been tempted to take advice on how to Find Your Wife’s G-Spot.
He feels he must meet the challenge implicit in scientists saying they can’t find the G-spot – and they’ve been looking for 60 years.
The scientists’ failure is reported by the Daily Mail, which says ultrasounds and tissue samples have failed to prove the existence of this erogenous zone.
But Alf is confident this news will simply whip up lots of business for Robert Irwin, who claims he can steer blokes to the G-spot.
The advice is offered at http://www.thejoyofchristiansex.com.
Most important for the Grumbles, this Irwin feller says –
You don’t need to be sexually unfulfilled just because you’re a Christian!
The website where he peddles his services can steer a bloke to all sorts of good advice on how to lift one’s game in the rumpy-pumpy department.
Irwin says –
One of the most distressing myths about married Christians is that you can’t have a strong marriage and a completely fulfilling sex life… That couldn’t be more un-true!
There is Nothing “Contradictory” About Being a Good Christian Who Has Great Sex!
Sex was made by God, after all, and Alf can find nothing in the Bible that says avoiding sexual pleasure makes him any more or less holy.
In many respects, accordingly, he is prepared to listen to what Irwin has to say, because Irwin explains how he and his wife tried more than 100 different techniques, products, and devices that had promised to help heal his embarrassing lack of sexual prowess.
During that year I personally spent quite a bit of time discussing the situation with pastors and other Christian experts, confident that with a little hard work I could put all the new “tricks and tips” I’d learned into a solid Christian perspective.
And you know what? It worked! For the first time in her life, my wife openly wept as she finally experienced not one, but many strong orgasms during intercourse. It took me a year to discover all the “secrets” of sexual satisfaction, and now that I know them, my wife and I can both achieve orgasms so strong that we’re constantly amazed that so much pleasure can exist in the world.
Having found the perfect balance between scripturally acceptable practices and “technically explicit” explanations of how to achieve them, Irwin compiled his notes and wrote Sexual Skills for the Christian Husband.
Now, he claims, his book has educated and inspired tens of thousands of Christian men to improve their sexual performance and transform their sex lives for the better.
His advice addresses a slew of sticky matters: Stop Premature Ejaculation, Achieve Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms For Yourself; Become an Oral Sex Expert; Learn More About What Your Wife Wants Sexually Than She Knows Herself; Keep Harder, Bigger Erections for as Long as You’d Like; How to Help Your Wife Want More Sex…
Irwin’s advice includes –
The Definitive Online Guide to the G-Spot – We built an entire website filled with tutorials, videos, pictures and diagrams, all made for the sole purpose of demystifying the female G-Spot. We put serious time and effort into making this the ultimate guide to the female G-Spot, and everything you can do to it to make your wife howl with pleasure. Very soon we’ll start selling memberships to this site as a subscription service, but you’ll get a lifetime membership to this valuable resource just for buying Sexual Skills for the Christian Husband.
Irwin also says –
The “G-Spot” does exist, and I can prove it. Even better, I can tell you exactly what you need to do to it to introduce your wife to a completely different kind of orgasm. If you can master giving her this super-gasm, then watch in amazement as she becomes happily dedicated to giving you “new and exciting experiences” of your own.
So how can we square this with the Daily Mail report, published under the heading Scientists can’t find G-spot after 60 years (join the club, chaps).
It’s a sexual quest that has frustrated many couples for decades, the newspaper says,
…and now scientists say there may be no such thing as a ‘G-spot’ after all.
The G-spot was first described in western medicine by a Dr Grafenberg in 1950.
Apparently it is a bean-shaped area of the vaginal wall and is supposed to guarantee a female orgasm as soon as it is stimulated.
But a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine has cast doubt on whether this fabled erogenous zone exists at all.
Researchers, led by Dr Amichai Kilchevsky, from the Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut, studied nearly 100 peer-reviewed articles published on the subject published during the past six decades. These included clinical trials, case reports and reviews.
They found that none could conclusively prove that the mythic G-spot zone exists and that the strongest evidence remains anecdotal.
Dr Kilchevsky said he hoped the survey findings would take the pressure off women who find it difficult to orgasm.
His team added that couples shouldn’t give up all hope.
‘Reliable reports and anecdotal testimonials of the existence of a highly sensitive area… demand further consideration,’ they said.
Presumably it demands further searching, too.
Alf will cough up whatever money Irwin requires for the advice that will steer him to the spot.
All in the name of science, of course.