Forced to walk home at 2.30am? Not really – she could have waited for a bus

January 25, 2012

The hacks at Stuff are suckers for a good sob story.

But they have stretched the truth when telling us in a headline: Woman forced to walk home at 2.30

Good grief. An image was immediately conjured of jack-booted fiends coercing the woman to walk home at dead of night.

Heavily armed, perhaps.

The first paragraph laid it on even thicker – not only was the hapless woman coerced into making this walk, but – it seemed – she had been ill.

A Christchurch woman says she was forced to walk home at 2.30am after being discharged from Christchurch Hospital.

But no.

Read on and you find she chose to walk home.

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Here’s a case to celebrate – a tow-truck operator who did not want to waste public resources

January 24, 2012

It’s a pity an Auckland tow-truck boss has refunded a motorist to avoid a Disputes Tribunal hearing. Alf would have preferred the claim had been put to the test and a considered judgement made.

He happens to harbour a low opinion of tow-truck operators whose business includes hauling illegally parked cars away (fair enough) but then charging an arm and a leg for the owners to get their vehicles back.

Having an operator come off second best would have been hugely cheering, although – to be sure – the outcome could have gone in the company’s favour.

We’ll never know. Tow-truck operator Craig Burrows has simply refunded $230 because he is public spirited.

He coughed up to spend time with his son and avoid wasting public resources, according to what he told the NZ Herald, although he believes he would have won the case easily.

This story began when Burrows’ company, an outfit called Vehicle Recovery Group, towed Dan Dwyer’s Toyota Corolla, which was parked in a Mt Eden fruitshop’s carpark.

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Larry Summers looks like the wrong man for the World Bank – so what about our Don?

January 23, 2012

Alf today is launching a campaign to secure a new job for Don Brash, who – like all but one candidate in the ACT team – failed to win a seat in Parliament at the general election in November.

Don would be just the bloke to run the World Bank.

The job is up for grabs later this year.

President Barack Obama – according to a Bloomberg report spotted by your widely read member for Eketahuna North – may put his mark on the World Bank by nominating Lawrence Summers when Robert Zoellick’s term expires later this year.

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Details of Simon’s alleged deception are not clearcut, but his spiky hair should be

January 22, 2012

This wouldn't pass muster at Mark Perry's school.

A Herald on Sunday report, lamentably lacking in material detail, tells us (a) the cops have complained about a TVNZ reporter, alleging he attempted to deceive relatives of Carterton balloon victims, and (b) the reporter is a bloke by name of Simon Bradwell, who denies any wrongdoing, and (c) TVNZ is standing by the reporter but is looking into the matter.

And now – dear blog reader – you know as much about it as the HoS.

What the HoS knows, of course, is sweet FA because –

Details of the complaint have not been revealed, but Bradwell “vehemently” denies any wrongdoing.

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Worms show us how life span can be doubled by booze (taken in tiny doses)

January 21, 2012

Alf is off to the Eketahuna Club to order a life-extending whisky or three.

He is reacting to news that scientists have proven alcohol can double life-span.

The report that got him going talked of “moderate” levels of alcohol delivering an increase in longevity among test subjects in a recent study.

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If you haven’t found the G-spot, take heart – scientists can’t find it either

January 20, 2012


Alf has been tempted to take advice on how to Find Your Wife’s G-Spot.

He feels he must meet the challenge implicit in scientists saying they can’t find the G-spot – and they’ve been looking for 60 years.

The scientists’ failure is reported by the Daily Mail, which says ultrasounds and tissue samples have failed to prove the existence of this erogenous zone.

But Alf is confident this news will simply whip up lots of business for Robert Irwin, who claims he can steer blokes to the G-spot.

The advice is offered at http://www.thejoyofchristiansex.com.

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Corruption study shows how bigger pay packets make us more virtuous

January 19, 2012

Alf was laughed out of The Boss’s Beehive office a year or so ago, when he pitched a case for doubling politicians’ pay based on an example set in Ghana.

In that country, lawmakers had doubled their own pay, arguing that if they were going to fight the temptation for corruption, they needed much fatter pay packets.

The monthly salary of about $US4,500 a month they awarded themselves then was about three times what the average Ghanaian earned in a year.

Alf will resurrect his push for a substantial pay rise on the strength of research findings mentioned in a press release from Victoria University.

Alas, these research findings have come too late for Singaporean politicians. They have just voted to give themselves hefty pay cuts.

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