It cost Alf a few bob but it was well worth it.
He hired a plane to carry a banner, thereby delivering a very personal message to Her Majesty as the Jubilee celebrations came to a frenzied climax in London.
As you can see from the reportage on the Daily Mail site, the Queen was met with a huge outpouring of adoration from a sea of people head-to-toe in red, white and blue who gathered below the balcony at Buckingham Palace to see her.
In what was the crowning event of a spectacular weekend that saw one-and-a-half million people descend on a rainy London, a huge crowd sung themselves hoarse with a rousing rendition of Land of Hope and Glory and God Save the Queen as they marched to the gates of the Palace to watch the Royal Family acknowledge their affection.
The Queen emerged to a deafening roar flanked by Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Harry, Camilla and Prince Charles. The only senior member of the Firm missing was Prince Philip, who is in hospital.
Besides the singing of Land of Hope and Glory, led by a military brass band, the patriotic crowd and the Royal Family were treated to a military fly past.
That’s when Alf’s message was delivered.
The jet planes shot past at high speed, followed by the much slower plane hired by Alf and – behind it – the very special banner.
The plane flew past, then turned around and flew back. There were gasps of admiration from the throng below.
On the first fly past the palace balcony, Her Majesty and her family were treated to a simple message: “Three cheers from the good people of Eketahuna”.
When the plane flew back, it revealed the message on the other side of the banner: “Wot about Alf’s knighthood?”.
Alf had prepared a somewhat longer message for the return journey: “Bugger Sir Michael Cullen – wot about Alf’s knightood?”
The good people who provided the aircraft explained that even if Her Majesty did not take offence at this language, somebody else was likely to.
The only offensive words – in Alf’s lexicon – were Michael Cullen.
This is the tosser who was deputy leader of the Labour Party back in 2000 when Helen Clark’s Government got rid of titular honours.
Now that titles have been restored, he gets himself gonged.
There’s a word for that sort of carry-on.
Alf was strongly inclined to incorporate this word on his banner, too, along with a few expletives.
But in the upshot he took the Brits’ advice and settled on the shorter version of his message.
And as you can see from the picture above, the Royals obviously delighted in it.
The reaction from the Queen’s Guards (below) was a bit extreme, in the circumstances.