It looks like highway robbery and (sad to say) it has Simon Bridges’ DNA all over it

Dunno what sort of portfolio Transport Minister Simon Bridges thinks he’s in charge of.

But it looks seriously as if his ministerial domain includes a monopoly with a huge appetite for robbing the modern-day road traveller – a modern-day Dick Turpin, no less.

In this case, however, the outfit that is robbing us makes Turpin look like a choirboy and is government-approved.

It’s a company that has been licensed to print its own money by a government which in so many other matters – charter schools, for example – is about giving the public more choice.

This company is in the business of testing people for their driving licences.

It guarantees a strong revenue stream by failing the poor buggers, obliging them to come back time and time again for another go.

And it collects that much more money each time.

You could call it repeat business.

Let’s establish Christopher Columbus’s whakapapa – then widen Treaty claims to take in the USA

A 15th century map of Taranaki?

Maori should be alerted to the possibility that Christopher Columbus was one of them.

Likelihood, actually.

Alf mentions this matter on learning (here) that politicians on the Spanish isle of Ibiza are claiming Christopher Columbus was from there.

This island apparently is better known as a haunt for booze-cruise Brits, all-night clubbing and hard-core house music.

But local political leaders are aiming to re-brand the island as the home of America’s discoverer.

Sleeping pills may help you get some kip, but they also might hasten your dementia

Sleeping pills were bad for her health, too.

The Grumbles don’t have much use for sleeping pills.

Damned good thing, as it turns out.

It seems they significantly increase the risk of dementia.

The Daily Mail today draws attention to a Harvard University study.

It found pensioners who used benzodiazepines – which include temazepam and diazepam – are 50 per cent more likely to succumb to the devastating illness.

The researchers regard the side effects of the drugs as so harmful, potentially, that doctors should avoid prescribing them.

Alf, fair to say, has to look things up when they involve words with as many syllables as “benzodiazepines”.

An uplifting Ferrie tale – felons find their gunshot wounds give no relief from jail time

He’s the sort of judge we could do with in this country.

He has just banged up a couple of burglars who were shot by a homeowner who was later arrested.

While sentencing the buggers to four years in the slammer, he delivered a stern warning:

‘If you burgle a house in the country where the householder owns a legally held shotgun, that is the chance you take’.

Yep.

That’s a class act from the judge.

It’s an effective way of crushing dissent – it could be a handy way of dealing with problems in NZ, too

An indelicate but effective way of dealing with dissent.

Crusher – it’s fair to suppose – would be impressed with the way they do things in China.

Alf is certainly impressed, although he would not want to live there because he doesn’t much like rice and he can’t handle chopsticks.

But that’s to digress.

What China does have going for it is an uncomplicated attitude to protesters, demonstrators and what have you.

We put boy racers’ cars through the crusher.

The Chinese crush protesters.

This reflects a no-nonsense approach to law and order that should go down well in our Justice Minister’s office.

Before The Boss gets into bed with Winston Peters, should we remind him of the whiff of fish?

It looks more like churlish defiance, when Banks does it,

There are days when Alf thinks it’s a shame the Common Sense Party led by the short-arsed Peter Dunne doesn’t command much greater support.

Not too much more support.

Just enough to give them a few more seats in the House than just Dunne’s.

And then The Boss would not be facing the dilemma portrayed at the weekend by the NZ Herald’s John Armstrong.

It’s the dilemma of being lumbered with Banks by virtue of needing his vote to secure a majority on legislation where National has no backing from the Maori Party.

UK Minister calls for a cover-up – she wants papers like The Sun to stop publishing pix of topless sheilas

Dunno what Lynne Featherstone would make of New Zealand.

But it’s fair to say she would have some difficulty explaining her theories about the causes of domestic violence in this country.

It’s also fair to say – as you will learn from this post – that we can expect to hear much more about her campaign.

That’s because her job is to rid the world of domestic violence, and the world included New Zealand last time Alf checked his globe.

This Lynne Featherstone sheila happens to be a Lib Dem minister in Britain.

As a Lib Dem, of course, she should be viewed with profound suspicion from the outset, your basic Lib Dem being apt to lean much too much to the left from Alf’s staunchly held position on political matters.

She has to be viewed with great suspicion, furthermore, because she harbours some curious ideas about the effect of looking at pictures of topless bints in newspapers.

Actually, she wants to slap a ban on the publication of such pictures which – when you think about it – is a very unliberal thing to do, and may well be undem, too.

Woman who lied to Winz had better get used to making a buck in India – by begging, maybe

It’s not as demanding as being a barista…

Are we supposed to sympathise with a silly woman who lied to welfare officials to get more money?

More of my money and yours, by the way.

As a sob story, accordingly, what this bint did does not amount to much.

But the Herald on Sunday is dining out on it here.

A young mother facing a new life in India has spoken of her regret after telling Work and Income she had split from her husband so she could get a bigger benefit.

Now the family faces an uncertain future as her husband is ordered out of the country.

So – have we got this right? – she did the lying but he is being ordered out.

And she deserves our sympathy – why, exactly?

Or is the story merely intended to serve as a lesson against lying?

Breast-fondling case raises beguiling questions about how prominent figures are demoted

And was he ever considered “prominent”?

It’s very teasing of the court to continue to suppress the name of a bloke found guilty on three charges of indecently assaulting his stepdaughter.

He is described at Stuff today (here) simply as a former prominent figure.

Not a prominent figure, but a former prominent figure, it should be noted.

According to Stuff –

After a three-day retrial a jury of six men and women today found him guilty on three charges of indecent assault which date back to 30 December 2009.

They reached a unanimous guilty verdict on a charge relating to stroking the girl’s breast and majority verdicts on two other charges of indecently touching her and kissing her back.

The man, who has name suppression, shook his head in disbelief at the verdicts.

This is not the first time he had been found guilty.

Science teacher gets a lesson in biology: you’ll get it in the neck if you push the head too far

Alf shares The Whale’s disregard for school teachers, and has done so ever since one of the buggers gave him an E minus for maths at Eketahuna Primary School way back at a time when he was highly impressionable.

Mind you, he does not have a disregard for all school teachers.

He must confess to having fancied one or two of the lady teachers he has encountered in his day.

And he has great sympathy for the ones who are expected to grin and bear it when they are insulted, assaulted, tormented and so on by a modern generation of brat that, in Alf’s considered view, would benefit enormously from a bloody good thrashing.

Alas, today’s namby-pamby educationalists do not allow a teacher to give brats a bloody good thrashing, which is a great shame.

And so, having thought about it for a bit, Alf is prepared to concede that it’s only some teachers for whom he has a high disregard.