Gotta give the British PM full marks for bottle – he has gone for talent instead of a gender quota

But if we got rid of all the sheilas, who would make the tea?

Let’s admire David Cameron’s balls.

Alf means “balls” in the sense that the British PM has lots of bottle, rather than that he necessarily has a titanic (or otherwise attractive) set of testicles.

Cameron has demonstrated this by changing his ministerial pecking order and putting a bunch of ministerial sheilas in their place by so doing.

No doubt this is their rightful place, but they are squawking about sexism and so on.

And dammit, some who feel they have been hard done by have burst into tears. Allegedly.

Alf caught up with the reshuffle and Cameron’s preference for testosterone – in much the same way as the All Black selectors go about picking the best team, come to think of it – during his browse through the Daily Mail (here).

So what has happened to the sheilas?

The ‘power list’, ranking the 22 members of the Cabinet, reveals that two out of the four women are among the bottom three positions.

Only Welsh Secretary David Jones – who comes last, and was appointed from a tiny pool of Welsh Tories – has been placed lower than Northern Ireland Secretary Theresa Villiers (21st) and Culture Secretary Maria Miller (20th).

Alf would have ranked a Welsh bloke higher than the sheilas, although he would not die in the ditch on the matter.

But the Mail explains the list is significant because convention holds that if inter-departmental discussions are being held, the lowest-ranked Ministers must visit the offices of those higher up the list.

This obviously means none of the ministers will visit the Welsh bloke’s office.

And so…

unless they are meeting Mr Jones, the two women will be forced to trudge around Whitehall to hold their meetings.

Oh, dear. The indignity.

But hey.

One of the sheilas has done nicely, thank you, because –

Home Secretary Theresa May is the highest placed woman in the list, at number six, while International Development Secretary Justine Greening – who was angry about being moved from Transport – is 16th.

Dunno what Greening has done, although it’s worth observing he has an unfortunate name.

As for some of the other changes –

Below the great offices of state, Kenneth Clarke’s demotion to Minister Without Portfolio makes him the biggest faller compared with the pre-reshuffle list, dropping 17 places from sixth to 23rd – the first place outside the full Cabinet.

Clarke’s replacement as Justice Secretary, Chris Grayling, is the highest new entrant, at ten, while Grayling’s fellow Right-winger, Environment Secretary Owen Paterson, is also up, rising five places to 15th. Other big climbers include Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt, up six places to 13.
Danny Alexander

Fair to say, Cameron has defended his reshuffle against charges of sexism.

He points out there are ‘as many [women] today as there were before . . . two very talented women left the Cabinet, and two very talented women joined the Cabinet. I inherited a party with only 19 women MPs. There are now around 50.’

It was also claimed – although Mr Cameron denied it – that two women who lost their jobs, former Welsh Secretary Cheryl Gillan and ex-Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman, were reduced to tears by his actions.

Oh, gawd.

Betcha that wouldn’t happen in the highly unlikely event of Crusher being demoted.

Indeed, Alf is sure for that to happen The Boss would need balls that are considerably bigger than Cameron’s.

Or Crusher’s, come to think of it.

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