Crusher – it’s fair to suppose – would be impressed with the way they do things in China.
Alf is certainly impressed, although he would not want to live there because he doesn’t much like rice and he can’t handle chopsticks.
But that’s to digress.
What China does have going for it is an uncomplicated attitude to protesters, demonstrators and what have you.
We put boy racers’ cars through the crusher.
The Chinese crush protesters.
This reflects a no-nonsense approach to law and order that should go down well in our Justice Minister’s office.
The Chinese disinclination to tolerate expressions of dissent is well illustrated here.
In this case, a bloke with a grievance called He Zhu Hua finished up in a somewhat flattened condition.
He Zhu Hua had been involved in a demonstration to resist government relocation plans.
The stroppy bugger had refused to accept a small sum to relocate from Changsha Village in Hunan Province, where government officials want to claim land for commercial use.
But when he began lying down on the land in protest (a tactical blunder, as you can see from the picture), a construction vehicle reportedly crushed him to death with its huge rollers.
This was done – allegedly – on the orders of the local Vice Mayor.
Local authorities had already evicted many others from the village when the state-owned construction vehicle did what it did.
Alf is dependent on the Daily Mail for this account of what transpired –
Shocking pictures from the aftermath appeared to show the man’s remains splattered under the rollers of the giant construction vehicle.
It is unclear exactly what the pictures show, however, and there is a possibility the incident could have been an accident.
But it is also alleged that the local authorities in Changsha Village attempted to cover up the incident by deploying security personnel to control angry locals and hiding the body.
Alf is in no position (obviously) to say what happened, one way or the other.
But he will be be drawing this example of crushing to the attention of Ms Collins.
Come to think of it, he will be drawing it to John Key’s attention, too.
It looks like a great way (albeit somewhat indelicate) of taking care of the Kim Dotcom problem.
The splattered remains after Kim was given this treatment, one imagines, would be much greater in volume than in the Chinese example.
The John Banks problem comes to mind, too.
Putting Banks under a roller would have the great benefit of opening up a ministerial position.
Uh, oh. But in an unseemly haste to open up the possibility of landing a job for which your long-serving MP is well qualified, the small matter of Act’s vote in the House has been overlooked.
Let’s see. If Hone Harawira happened to be crushed beneath one of these machines, too, would that sort of even things out?