Relocation, relocation, relocation – one of two kura kaupapa schools has to be given its marching orders

Here’s hoping Hekia is all geared up to flit down to Christchurch and sort out two Maori immersion schools.

One of them must move.

But as Stuff tells us here, they are a stroppy twosome.

Stubborn, too.

Each of them seems determined to fight the Government’s decision.

Te Kura Kaupapa Maori schools Te Whanau Tahi and Maori O Waitaha were last month told by Education Minister Hekia Parata that one of them will move to a site in north Christchurch.

The schools must decide between themselves which will relocate by March 28.

However, each is refusing to budge from its current site, meaning it may be left to the ministry to make the decision.

There is evidence in the Stuff report that the school leaders think Hekia has applied faulty logic to her decision.

Logic?

Dunno where they got the idea Hekia should be logical, sensible or anything else.

She’s the Minister. She calls the shots. Full stop.

But TKKM O Waitaha board chairwoman Christina Rask said they had been busy readying their submission to send to the Education Ministry, and had done “yards of research” to fight the move.

“We simply cannot see the logic behind the minister’s demand,” Rask said. “We will fight this to the end.”

The kura is also questioning Parata’s rationale for the move.

Principal Terina Ranginui Tahau said the move was not economically viable, as the $6 million relocation cost worked out at about $80,000 a student.

“We do not have any earthquake damage to our current site or buildings, That’s a phenomenal amount of money that would be better spent establishing a new school in northern Christchurch.” Meanwhile, TKKM Te Whanau Tahi principal Ramon Roberts also believes his school should stay.

“It is apparent, given that most of our families live in close proximity to our current location, and that there is a high rate of home ownership close by, that a relocation would not be in the best interests of our families and nor would it achieve the ministry’s objective of improving access to the school.”

Ministry of Education deputy secretary Katrina Casey tells us the situation with the two kura “is very straightforward and clear”.

“Because there is no access for Maori children to kura in a large part of the city where Maori children live, part of the interim decision was that one of the kura would relocate in order to significantly improve access,” she said.

This sounds astonishingly like it might be sound logic, making nonsense of what the kura leaders are saying.

Casey went on:

“Should the kura not be able to decide . . . the ministry will undertake the relevant analysis and will make a recommendation . . .”

Nah. Bugger the analysis.

Send Alf down.

He’ll sort things out with a quick game of Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Or maybe he will set up the Maori version, which he supposes might be named Ingi, mingi, maingi, mau.

If he has mis-spelled it, the kids from the kura kaupapa schools are sure to put him right.

Fair to say, he hasn’t played the game for a while and had to send Mrs Grumble to Wikipedia (here) to help him brush up on the words.

Remember how it goes?

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch a tiger by the toe.
If he hollers, let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

But whoa. When was “tiger” introduced in place of…?

Never mind.

And no. Alf won’t proceed with the version he remembers.

He would prefer not to become the first person referred to Dame Susan for sorting out under our race relations laws.

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