What, exactly, will Dr Debby be doing with her data, now she has established the average size of a feller’s todger?
Maybe she will take the information home to see how her husband, boyfriend or whoever he might be measures up.
Another thing: in the name of research, did Dr Debby get to slap a measuring rod along each dick embraced by her study?
Alf’s curiosity about these matters was aroused – so to speak – when he learned (here) that the latest research into the average penis size held few new surprises.
The average penis size remains at 5.57 inches, which is roughly half an inch shorter than a $20 bill (presumably an American $20 bill).
The study also suggested that men appear to tell the truth about the size of their manhood when it comes to the important business of scientific research.
The study, conducted by Dr Debby Herbenick at Indiana University, asked 1,661 men in the U.S. to give the size of their penis.
Researchers were not involved in the measuring, rather left this practical aspect to each individual.
Dr Herbenick told Psychology Today that she trusted men to give accurate measurements – as the study was part of broader research into condom sizes.
She added: ‘ If they reported a bigger-than-reality size to us, they would get a baggier condom.
‘If they reported a smaller-than-reality size to us, the condom would be too tight.’
Other interesting outcomes of the study included the varying lengths.
These ranged from 1.5 inches to just over 10 inches.
Scientists also found that the size of the erect penis varied depending on how it was achieved.
Oral sex proved more arousing than masturbation or being stimulated only by sexual fantasies.
Dr Herbenick is co-Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington.
She also works as a sexual health expert at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction.
She told the magazine she would like to see more research conducted into the size of female genitalia to encourage women to think more positively about their bodies.
There was a time when Alf might have considered offering his services to aid and abet such study but nowadays he would rather settle back in his favourite seat at the Eketahuna Club and simply size up whether it’s time for another double. It usually is.