Our chauffeur-driven Cabinet Ministers will be House-bound if we don’t shift the capital

Your hard-working MP has always sensed there were good reasons for shifting the country’s capital from Wellington. Now he is certain about it and is ready to promote Eketahuna as a possibility.

But wherever it finishes up, it should no longer be Wellington.

Not now that Wellington has re-elected its pedal-pushing mayor, Celia Wade-Brown, and fortified her greenie agenda by electing other Greens to the council.

The cycling mayor, who has made transport a core plank of her campaigns, is joined by three other Green councillors – making Wellington the greenest council in the county.

As well as Wade-Brown who, although independent, is linked to the party, Green councillors include incumbent Iona Pannett and newcomers David Lee and Sarah Free.

Two Green candidates, Paul Bruce and Sue Kedgley, were elected to the Wellington Regional Council.

Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei said the result was a “Green sweep” in which every Green candidate who stood for the city and regional councils was elected.

You can betcha the jubilant Wade-Brown meant it, when she told supporters she had been given a clear mandate.

Next thing we know the roads will have been cleared of cars, except perhaps for taxis, and the good people of Wellington will be obliged to take buses or cycle to wherever they want to go.

This can be hard yacker in a city as hilly as Wellington.

It looks like Alf will be obliged to find a flat much closer to Parliament, so he doesn’t have too far to walk to work when he’s serving his people as their MP in the House of Representatives.

There’s a serious danger, furthermore, that the good citizens of the capital will…

No. Let’s rephrase it.

There’s a serious danger the fuckwits of Wellington will be landed with bylaws that require them to stop eating meat and to install eco-toilets in their houses.

But come to think of it, they asked for it and deserve all they get.

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