He wasn’t quite naked, because he had a balaclava over his head.
We may suppose he had greater cause to feel modest about whatever was above his neck than below it.
Thus partially clad, he proceeded to perform an indecent act while he stood at his study window where his neighbour could see him, according to a bemusing report at Stuff.
The feller in question was one Martin Burley, 36, who has been convicted in the Christchurch District Court of committing an indecent act with intent to insult.
Judge S J O’Driscoll found him guilty of the charge.
According to the police summary of facts, Burley stood naked in the study of his Ferry Rd home about 12.30pm on September 26.
He stood close to a full length window, which faced his neighbour’s kitchen window.
Burley placed a balaclava over his head before committing an indecent act using a sex toy, clothes pegs and a leather whip.
The neighbour, who was in her kitchen with two friends, was “horrified” and disgusted by what she saw, the summary said.
So did the neighbour and her friends reduce their exposure to this horror and disgust by pulling the curtains at the kitchen window?
Or by going to another room where the outlook was less horrifying and disgusting?
Nope. Not according to the police summary.
“The victim and her two friends looked out the kitchen window several times as they could not believe what they were seeing,” it said.
“The defendant looked right at the victim when she looked out her window.”
Burley did not stop his behaviour upon being seen, but after about 10 minutes went into his kitchen and got dressed, the summary said.
“In explanation, the defendant stated that the possibility of getting caught excited him,” it said.
“He regretted that his behaviour offended the victim.”
Alf is left to suppose the time frame – that it took Burley 10 minutes to go into his kitchen – was provided by the deeply offended neighbour.
Burley may offer the victim reparation for emotional harm, the court heard.
But Alf respectfully submits this emotional harm – if indeed it has been done – could have been mitigated by the neighbour looking away from the spectacle of this Burley bloke doing whatever it was he was doing with his gadgetry.