Nightmares take many forms but having your willy lopped instead of circumcised is a bad one

Where would David be without his dick?

Where would David be without his dick?

Alf was bemused to learn that a school has paid tribute to a former student and popular teenager who died … how?

From injuries after falling through the roof of a cathedral in Wellington.

Emergency services were called to Wellington Cathedral of St Paul at 11.30pm on Friday.

They found 18-year-old Finn O’Neill-Stevens had fallen 10 to 12 metres through the roof, sustaining “very serious, multiple trauma injuries,” Wellington Free Ambulance spokesman Daniel Paul said.

He was taken to Wellington Hospital where he was put on life support, but died yesterday.

As Alf understands what happened, there were two boys on the roof when the incident happened.

Both were students from Victoria University’s halls of residence.

An earlier report said:

It is understood two young men climbed on to the roof of the Loaves and Fishes
Hall at St Pauls’ Cathedral, on Molesworth St, Thorndon, when one of them then fell through a glass skylight.

St Paul’s Cathedral Dean Digby Wilkinson, who lives next door, said he heard yelling and screaming about 11.30pm and got up to discover what had happened.

A Wellington Free Ambulance spokeswoman confirmed paramedics attended. The man was taken to Wellington Hospital, and he died later.

Police said the incident was not suspicious.

Detective Senior Sergeant Warwick McKee said it appeared O’Neill-Stevens fell through the roof of a room attached to the cathedral.

“There were a couple of skylights on the roof of the building. It appears as though the young man had fallen through a skylight.”

He said it was a 10-metre fall.

The teen was not known to members of the cathedral.

But even if he was known – what was he doing on the roof around 11.30pm on a Friday?

Until Alf knew the answer, he would be disinclined to pay tribute to the hapless lad.

He would mourn.

But a tribute is a gift or statement made in acknowledgment, gratitude, or admiration.

Something more curious is raised by remarks reported in the NZ Herald:

Nelson College head Gary O’Shea said the loss of his former student was “a principal’s worst nightmare”.

“It’s a very tragic loss,” he said. “They’re all precious but he was a particularly popular young man pretty much liked by anyone.”

Tragic loss indeed.

But a principal’s worst nightmare?

It’s an expression too loosely used.

It popped up in a recent yachting report.

Bob Oatley’s Wild Oats XI led the 55-boat fleet off the start in the Cruising Yacht Club of Australia’s Land Rover Sydney Gold Coast Yacht Race this afternoon, but conditions defied the Bureau of Meteorology’s prediction of an overcast showery start in 15 to 20 knots of north-westerly breeze.

Instead, the clouds parted shortly before the 1.00pm start on Sydney Harbour – the sun came out in all its glory – and the breeze petered out to almost nothing and then dropped out completely around 15 minutes into the start. At least spinnakers bloomed, making for a mass of colourful on Sydney Harbour.

It was a sunbather’s paradise, but a yachties worst nightmare come true…

In Hamilton, a driver has said crashing into and killing a cyclist is a courier’s worst nightmare.

A raft of other nightmares can be found here.

But Alf is tempted to say the Alabama bloke who who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision has had a much more nightmarish experience. He awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated – or at least, that’s what his lawyer says.

Johnny Lee Banks Jr, 56, said in a lawsuit filed in state court earlier this week that no one at the Princeton Baptist Medical Center in Birmingham, Alabama, had told him why it had been necessary to remove his penis.

“My client is devastated,” said Banks’ attorney John Graves.

A spokeswoman for the hospital’s parent company says the allegations are without merit.

It is unclear whether this means the bloke still has a penis (something that could be quickly established) or whether the issue is who lopped it off if he doesn’t have one.

Either way, it seems to Alf that having one’s dick docked is the real stuff of nighmares

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3 Responses to Nightmares take many forms but having your willy lopped instead of circumcised is a bad one

  1. Barry says:

    Hello Alf

    I think that being circumcised would be a grotesque nightmare – but this story is even worse!

  2. alexbarrow4 says:

    What a hugely disrespectful post. To compare and undermine the deaths of people to what I assume you think is a comic news piece is completely unacceptable. As a member of the residential hall that just lost a member of our community, I can confidently say that not only I, but every person in this hall, the family, and the boy’s friends and other peers, who are all grieving, would request that you remove this post and perhaps rewrite it more tactfully. Of course such a tragic accident is a nightmare, as is any premature death. Who are you to contradict that? Tell the parents and younger siblings of our friend that his death doesn’t quite make the cut for classifying as a nightmare. Show some respect

    • Wendy says:

      Well said Alex. This is a thoughtless, heartless piece of blogging and serves no purpose other than to upset.
      As a close relative of Finn’s, I would request that these cruel words are removed. Shame on you!

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