It’s no fun, being on the campaign trail in Epsom with a true-blue MP who aims to lose

When they told him to take a dive, this isn't what they intended.

When they told him to take a dive, this isn’t what they intended.

Gotta say Alf happened to be in Epsom yesterday (getting back home explains the tardiness in posting this item).

And he happened upon that Goldsmith feller about the same time as the Herald.

The bugger was out campaigning to lose which is much the same as throwing a fight in the boxing ring or doing whatever bent cricketers do to help some gambling enterprise.

If you know he has been hobbled – yeah, all for the good of the National Party, so it must be okay – it’s not much fun to watch.

It’s not much fun listening to him explain what’s going on, either .

As the Herald observes today, Paul doesn’t want to win the electorate vote and hence was fielding questions from voters on just who they should be backing.

Paul Goldsmith was canvassing in Mt Eden with a stack of freshly printed ‘Epsom News’ leaflets under his arm – detailing why National wanted Epsom voters to give their electorate vote to ACT’s candidate David Seymour.

“My name will be on the ballot paper as the National candidate for the electorate vote so that Epsom voters have a choice, but my personal focus will be on maximising the party vote,” the leaflet explained.

After ducking into a few shops and handing over “a bit of propaganda” as he put it, Mr Goldsmith tried his luck with a group of people waiting at a bus stop.

“Can I give you one of these?” he inquired, working his way up the line.

As he met with reactions ranging from obliging to “absolutely not”, former Epsom MP John Banks drove past in a late-model silver Mercedes and gave him a toot – prompting Mr Goldsmith to question if he had been set up.

What a silly question.

Here in Eketahuna North we Nats don’t piss around asking. We thrust it upon them.

We’ve got a lot going for us with this approach, of course, because the good people of Eketahuna North are only too eager to read Alf’s campaign literature (he eschews the word ‘propaganda”).

The Herald goes on:

After being berated by a man unhappy with tax increases on tobacco, Mr Goldsmith was then stopped by National supporter Virginia Chong who promised to make a special vote from Boston.

She then asked for clarification on who she was supposed to be supporting.

“We’re encouraging our supporters to vote for the ACT candidate in the electorate, rather than the Conservatives,” Mr Goldsmith said.

“We’ve dealt with the ACT party over the last six years and it’s worked reasonably well, the Conservatives are more of an unknown quantity.”

Mrs Chong added: “He’s a bit whacky on some things”.

Well, assuming she was referring to Colin Craig, he believes in a bit of child smacking for the sake of good parental disciplining, if that’s what’s meant by whacky.

And Alf is bound to say he thoroughly agrees, and would go further by giving delinquent brats a bloody good thrashing, although he would never acknowledge this publicly.

But it looks like Goldsmith has his work cut out trying to get through to Epsom voters on the small matter of who’s who in the race and who is being nobbled and who is supposed to win.

Alf makes this observation because further down the road Goldsmith encountered the Chong lady’s husband, a local dentist named Philip Chong who seems to have the same difficulty as his missus in sorting out the goodies from the baddies.

“I’ve got to vote to keep you guys in,” he said, before also asking who his electorate vote should go to. “Is it Christine Rankin, or the guy Seymour?”

We don’t have this sort of problem in Eketahuna North.

Everybody knows Alf and damned near everybody will be voting for him, although a few leftie and greenie elements can be found around the electorate despite we Nats’ best efforts to have them named and shamed via a certain blog and, all going well, run out of town.

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One Response to It’s no fun, being on the campaign trail in Epsom with a true-blue MP who aims to lose

  1. Lindsay says:

    The funniest aspect of all this is even if Paul Goldsmith wanted both votes he is such a diffident chap he’d have trouble convincing his audience.

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