Winston Peters disapproves of inexperience – but only when he is not calling the shots

September 29, 2014
 The perpetual state of crisis with Winston was too much for her...

The perpetual state of crisis with Winston was too much for her…

Alf’s personal best interests are under serious threat, as The Boss dishes out plum jobs to the one-seat-only parties that will form part of the new administrtion.

He hankers for a ministerial job and feels entitled to one.

But The Boss reckons the party’s best interests call for him to deliver a few baubles to the one-man bands.

Alf – as you would expect from a loyal Nat – is saying nothing about his disquiet.

But he isn’t going to stay silent when bloody Winston Peters shoots off his mouth. Again.

Peters will still be sulking about not being the king-maker, Alf imagines.

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The window washers – there’s not much difference between them and highway robbery

September 28, 2014
"Yes, I'll have your money - but you'll have a clean windscreen."

“Yes, I’ll have your money – but you’ll have a clean windscreen.”

It’s a problem – Alf is pleased to say – that does not trouble the good citizens of Eketahuna.

He is referring to the pests and misfits who plague motorists at intersections with their unsolicited window-cleaning antics.

The Waikato Times described it like this:

You slow down at an intersection only to see a man with cleaning equipment running across the road towards you. Your heart sinks, you hurriedly flip through your wallet or purse for change but find nothing. It’s all eftpos these days. Too late, you look up and see the guy has already tossed some water and soap on your windscreen and started wiping.

The practice is regulated by a city bylaw which bans people from washing the windows of vehicles stopped on the road within 50m of an intersection.

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Canterbury wails: some dons are in a pother that cash from cows might curdle their research

September 27, 2014
"But is it right that we are being paid by the Government?"

“But is it ethical that we are being paid by a right-wing Government?”

Just an idea: some research is called for into how much the brains of our academics have been addled by exposure to earthquakes.

The thought is raised by the fluffy-headed thinking about money that has become evident at Canterbury University.

Some of the dons favour turning down good money if it comes from sources they have put on their black list.

Money is money is money in Alf’s view of the world.

It is neither good nor bad.

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Oh dear, Taranaki politicians lament the lost chance of making history by making Maori more special

September 26, 2014
On which side of the mountain will the next battle be fought?

On which side of the mountain will the next battle be fought?

Dunno if the tossers in Taranaki have noticed, as they anguish over their electoral systems and fret that indigenous persons are not able to exercise enough influence.

But the National Party now has nine Maori members of Parliament.

That’s two more than the Labour Party.

The big difference is that none of the National Party’s Maori MPs needed the advantage afforded by standing in Maori electorates (which a royal commission said should be got rid of when we took up MMP a long while back).

Labour, on the other hand, won six of the seven Maori seats.

The race-based and thoroughly ethnocentric Maori and Mana Parties, on the other hand, took a drubbing.

Dear old Hone was tossed into the political wilderness and no longer can slurp from the public trough. Not the Parliamentary one, anyway, but he’s a sly old dog, and with all the special treatment that comes from being an indigenous person, he is bound to find another trough somewhere.

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John McLeod is branded a renegade – just for resigning over the introduction of race-based voting

September 25, 2014
No, he didn't burn down the council chambers.

No, he didn’t burn down the council chambers.

It’s a measure of the magnitude of the Kiwi surrender to the power push by indigenous persons that New Plymouth councillor John McLeod is described as a renegade.

That derogatory adjective was used in a caption beneath his photo in the Taranaki Daily News before he resigned “after the vote on Maori wards did not go his way”.


According to the definition at a renegade is…

A person who deserts and betrays an organization, country, or set of principles: an agent who later turns out to be a renegade

So has John McLeod deserted the New Plymouth Council or his city?

Or has he betrayed it or its principles?

It depends.

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A Fox has entered the Parliamentary hen coop with Lincolnian rhetoric (but not as lofty)

September 23, 2014
His thoughts on government can be found in

His thoughts on government are reflected (just a little) in Marama Fox’s reported remarks.

Alf woke up to hear the Gettysberg Address resonating in the rhetoric of the Maori Party’s Marama Fox.

Not resonating too strongly, mind you.

But resonating a little.

She had been invited to say something for Radio NZ’s Morning Report, although Alf’s advice to his colleagues is to steer clear of that programme because as soon as you start to answer one of the inane questions from the likes of Guyon Wotzisname, he will interrupt and give you the answer he thinks you should be giving him.

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One thing we know about No. 11 on the NZ First list is that he isn’t a spy (according to his leader)

September 22, 2014

He has left us guessing.

He has left us guessing.

Alf looks forward to bumping into one Mahesh Bindra some time soon.

This fellow is described in the NZ Herald today as the lowest-ranked NZ First MP.

More fascinating, however, he is reported to be refusing to say what job he did before politics.

Alf suspects this may be a consequence of Mahesh Bindra being a shy fellow who is especially bashful that he has been doing something menial, like being the bloke who empties the rubbish bins in some Government department.

This might explain why his leader, Winston Peters, is also refusing to say what his 11th-ranked MP does for a living.

But Peters did tell us what Bindra does not do.

“I can tell you, he’s not a spy,” said Mr Peters this morning.

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Steady as she goes on several fronts as clear-headed voters give their ticks to more of the same

September 21, 2014
The Scottish vote threatened the future of the Union Jack and Alf's favourite sofa.

The Scottish vote threatened the future of the Union Jack and Alf’s favourite sofa.

The Grumbles have been relishing the rejoicing among our mates after we Nats put the lefties and pinkos in their place at the general election.

The scribblings of the commentators have gone down well, too.

For example, Tracy Watkins at Stuff is saying:

National leader John Key today faces a simple job of stitching together a new Government after winning a thumping mandate from voters last night.

But recriminations on the other side of the political fence, in Labour, are already unfolding with former leader David Shearer maligning a “tragic” result for the party.

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But consultation with iwi is good for you, Sir Bob – and they have ideas to improve your designs too

September 20, 2014


Aucklanders have long looked like a spineless bunch of tossers, more anxious to be politically correct than to stand up for their property rights against the outrageous demands of local authorities and the tangata whenua.

Or – and there is another way to look at this – Aucklanders recognise that some members of their community are special and should be allowed to dictate to them what they may and may not do.

These special citizens, of course, are the city’s indigenous persons who have increasingly been empowered to influence development decisions.

Auckland’s readiness to subject themselves to the demands of indigenous persons can be seen today in this report in the NZ Herald.

The article deals with an Auckland Council rule that requires building owners to seek iwi approval for work on their land.

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We might hear from Colin Craig’s ex-spin doctor – but not until she has taken some PR advice

September 18, 2014
Too rigid to be manipulated, apparently.

A spin doctor who finds manipulation disagreeable…

Gotta admit that the Grumble household is bubbling with conjecture about the spin doctor who has fled the Conservative Party camp just two days before the election.

Furthermore we are bemused to learn that Conservative leader Colin Craig was unaware that his press secretary of two years had quit her job. At least, that’s what he is saying.

We are reliant on a report in the Herald for our intelligence on the matter although it seems news of the spin doctor’s departure was first reported by Barry Soper on Newstalk. But Alf does not pay any attention to Soper, essentially because Soper pays no attention to Alf.

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