Gotta say there’s nothing quite as satisfying as pitching an election message to a bunch of well-heeled old farts.
They will even give a big cheer to the likes of Peter Dunne if he says the right thing.
Peter struck the right note in his home patch of Ohariu when he was questioned about Nicky Hager’s Dirty Politics and about the ethics and integrity of politics.
According to this report at Stuff,
…the UnitedFuture leader said he would not read it and labelled it “muckraking”.
It was a sentiment that drew the biggest cheer from the 150-strong crowd at Johnsonville’s Malvina Major Retirement Village yesterday, the large majority of whom were residents.
That’s the right way – and the right-wing way, hurrah – to deal with trash dressed up as a literary revellation.
This obviously was understood by National candidate Brett Hudson, who said the book was “simply scaremongering” and a deliberate attempt by Hager to derail National’s election campaign.
This campaign (as Alf is drumming into his loyal and admiring constituents) is focused on job creation, better pay and a strengthening economy.
But back in Ohariu, the grim forces of the centre and left were intent on diverting the attention of the folks at the retirement village from that focus.
Labour’s Virginia Anderson said the fallout from the book threatened to undermine New Zealand’s position – alongside Denmark – as the least corrupt country in the world.
NZ First candidate Hugh Barr was more pointed, calling the scandal an “abysmal” indictment on the state of politics. He said Hager had done the country a “great favour” by showing voters that “you can fool all of the people all of the time”.
And sure enough, the wretched Greens were there too to make the most of Dirty Politics and its allegations of behind-the-scenes collusion between National Party insiders, including Alf’s good friends Judith Collins and Cameron Slater.
Green candidate Tane Woodley said it seemed strange, given Collins and Slater were both “extremely litigious”, that nobody had been sued over the contents of the book.
Alf finds it just as strange that Tane Woodley might want to read the book.
Greens in his experience are so damned keen to urge us all to be clean and green and to eat muesli and to steer clear to anything that might pollute our environment and/or our digestive systems.
Yet the buggers will wallow in the filth of a political smear campaign.
Alf finds he has much in common with Dunne on this one.
He hasn’t read the book either – and won’t.
But this won’t stop him from vilifying it. Indeed, the less he knows about it, the more he can damn it – to the point of urging it be burned.
To ensure the public can enjoy a jolly good bonfire he can suggest a raft of books to be tossed on the same bonfire.
Anything by Karl Marx, for starters.
And Noam Chomsky, George Orwell and Jack London.
And copies of some of the legislation passed by the first Labour Government.
The Bradford bint’s anti-smacking legislation, too.
The list is much too long, actually.
Alf takes huge pride in boasting (a) he has not read any of them and (b) every word between their covers is rubbish.
This makes this makes them ideal for burning.
As well as being spared from having their thinking corrupted, the people who huddle around the bonfire can be kept warm for a wee while.