Telecom has become Spark, but its bosses should be fired if they can’t revive their internet services

Good luck, Grumblers.

Catching up with Alf’s latest profound observations on the life, the universe and everything could be somewhat hit and miss today. At least, for some readers.

That’s because Telecom, nowadays operating as Spark, is not firing on all cylinders.

Here at the Grumble household we have been turning routers on and off, and turning computers on and off, and trying to get through to Spark via telephone to find out what’s up.

At last we were able to bring up the NZ Herald’s website where one of the first news items told of the country’s biggest telecommunications firm scrambling to fix an internet meltdown after an unexplained surge in internet traffic last night.

But when we clicked on to learn more we got the same old same old…

Firefox could not find the server.

At least, not for the first two or three goes.

But then we hit paydirt and the full item came up.

Accordingly we can advise Grumblers, constituents et al that Spark New Zealand users have reported problems with various internet services since late last night.

Whether the Herald item can be brought up on readers’ computers is another matter.

So – is there an explanation?

Not really.

“It looks like a high volume of traffic is affecting the ability of customers to browse intermittently on broadband or mobile,” Spark spokesman Richard Llewellyn said shortly after 9am.

So Spark became the company’s new name in a bold attempt to grow the business.

And they were so bloody successful they can’t cope with the increased traffic.

Is that what this is all about?

Actually, the tossers don’t know because Llewellyn went on to say it wasn’t yet clear what particular event may have caused the surge in traffic and subsequent outages.

“We’ve got people looking at it as we speak.”

He said the company hoped to shed more light on the problems later this morning.

Inevitably the complaints department at Spark – almost impossible to reach before one’s next birthday – will be under siege too.

A frustrated internet user told the Herald on Sunday he had to spend 29 minutes on the phone when he called Spark for answers this morning.

He said he was redirected to an overseas call centre where staff couldn’t tell him what the problem was.

Of course they couldn’t tell him.

They wouldn’t know what country he was calling from, for starters.

If it weren’t for the fact it is seriously contrary to party policy on these matters, Alf would be demanding Telecom, Spark or whatever be re-nationalised.

Market forces in this case are not doing the trick.

By the time we cancel our Spark accounts and switch to another provider…

Well, it’s all too much hassle.

But Bill is adamant we Nats are in the business of privatising, not the other way around.