There are times when a judge should not listen to a dead bloke’s mollycoddling dad – and this was one

October 31, 2014

The father of a Lower Hutt man who was shot dead last year is a remarkably merciful fellow.

And this is where they belong.

Here’s where they belong.

He says he has forgiven his son’s killers. Moreover he has asked that they not be banged up in a place where all felons should be sent to ensure they can do no mischief to anyone except fellow felons.

The killers are Shane Harrison, 44, and Dillin Pakai, 20.

They were found guilty by a jury in September of murdering Sio Matalasi and reckless discharge of a firearm.

In the High Court at Wellington this morning, Justice Jillian Mallon had the huge good sense not to listen to the victim’s mollycoddling poppa.

She sentenced Pakai to life in prison for murder with a minimum non-parole period of 12 years and three months.

And she sentenced Harrison to life imprisonment with a minimum non-parole period of 13 years.

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Surly to bed, surly to rise – and you can blame it on a gene that affects your serotonin

October 30, 2014

Alf is often accused of being a grumpy old bugger.

But the paint could be covering up his grumpy gene.

But the paint could be covering up his grumpy gene.

It transpires he was born that way.

He has learned this today from an account of some  work by scientists at Warwick University who have discovered the gene responsible for serotonin levels in the brain is responsible for setting one’s mood.

The shorter the gene, the lower the levels of the mood-enhancing hormone.

The longer the gene the higher the levels of serotonin, and so people are happier.

Danes are found to be happiest, and they happen to have the longest form of the gene.

People in France are most miserable, with the shortest form of the gene.

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Mules are badly maligned by being associated with drug smuggling – but what about asses?

October 29, 2014

'Arrivals' 'Drugs Mule'

The Rotorua Daily Post today reported that cops  who stopped an alleged drug mule near Taupo claim to have  found $500,000 worth of methamphetamine hidden in his truck bound for Christchurch.

A 54-year-old bloke was pulled over by police on State Highway 1 because of the manner of his driving, according to the report.

His Chevrolet Silverado truck apparently was searched and officers say they found 0.5kg of P concealed in four separate containers hidden under linings of the truck deck.

Police reckon the drugs were picked up in Auckland and the bloke they arrested was taking them to Christchurch.

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A bit left of centre you’ll find a feller who is trying to flush out how Steffan Browning earns his keep

October 28, 2014


Alf took umbrage yesterday at a Stuff political hack’s focus on the fall of two former ministers, Crusher Collins and Maurice Williamson, to the bottom of the party pecking order.

Trouble was, this hack also saw fit to disclose their pay and perk entitlements.

This was discomforting for the Member for Eketahuna North because it was apt to give his constituents a pretty good idea of his earnings.

But today is another day and – hey – there has been a change of heart.

That’s because Alf has been familiarising himself with a new blog, Slightly Left of Centre, operated by a feisty  bugger by name of Josh Foreman.

This Foreman feller questioned the Greens about what Steffan Browning has done to earn his keep.

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See who’s on the bottom rung of the National MPs’ pecking order – yep, its Maurice and Crusher

October 27, 2014
"There are only two of us Maori Party MPs, so we both get get a co-leader's share of the swill."

“If we formed another party and became co-leaders, we would each get a bigger share of this swill.”

Not for the first time, Alf is seriously pissed off with a Parliamentary Press Gallery hack who has seen fit to draw attention to MPs’ pay packets and perks.

It was not done directly by naming Alf.

It was done, nevertheless, by drawing attention to the salaries and perks of some fellow back-benchers. The good citizens of Eketahuna North are a bright bunch, quite capable of working out – roughly – the going rate for their local member.

Next bloody thing you know  they will be asking him to do the shouting, either in the pub or at the Eketahuna Club, because obviously he is paid much too much and can afford it .

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Olly and his willy – excision was a bloody silly way to respond when girlfriend said he did not measure up

October 25, 2014

Alf has forgotten when he first learned it is imprudent to chop off your nose to spite your face. It has always struck him as being very good advice.

The expression is used to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to 271647-pantsa problem – it’s a warning against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that would damage oneself more than the object of one’s anger

A bit of research by dipping into Wikipedia shows the phrase may be associated with the numerous legends of pious women disfiguring themselves in order to protect their virginity.

Wikipedia gives the example of Æbbe the Younger, the Mother Superior of the monastery of Coldingham. In 867 AD, Viking pirates from Zealand and Uppsala landed in Scotland.

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A lesson in survival: 100 humans turned out to be too many for the well-being of 58,000 moa

October 24, 2014

"Please, sir, may we have some moa?"

“Please, sir, may we have some moa?”

Alf read with great fascination today the news – if you can call it news – that the flightless moa was doomed the moment humans landed in New Zealand.

At least, this is what new research suggests, according to this report st Stuff..

Whether they were big or small, moa were wiped out in 200 years and the last were killed nearly 600 years ago, between 1440 and 1445.

It first blush, it is hard to square this environmental vandalism with something drummed into us by our indigenous persons and by such authorities as the Ministry for the Environment), because they insist:

For Māori, the concept of kaitiakitanga is of primary importance. Kaitiakitanga is a fundamental concept of the guardianship of a resource for future generations. It is practised as part of tikanga Māori (customary values and practices).


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Taxpayers’ Union has been discriminatory on perks – it forgets that some MPs (but not Alf) are “special”

October 23, 2014


The Taxpayers’ Union has been racially insensitive in taking a ping at the last-gasp spending of MPs who were headed for the political exit.

It has picked out two indigenous persons for special mention in a media statement, which is fair enough, at first blush, because indigenous persons are “special”.

But it has picked them out for critical mention.

This sadly overlooks the entitlement of our special persons to privileges that are not available to non-indigenous persons. These entitlements should include bigger dips into various public troughs than should be allowed for non-indigenous piggies.

Beyond that, Alf is discomforted whenever attention is drawn to MPs’ perks and spending of public money lest the media focus suddenly be turned on his spending, which would include lots of spending in the Eketahuna Club where Alf likes to treat his constituents, although some critics might not understand the need for him to treat voters who would never vote for anyone else but him.

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Dig this, dad – there are some things (such as tunnelling) that a lad should learn the hard way

October 21, 2014
This subway collapse shows even the professionals have lessons to learn...

This subway collapse in China shows even the professionals have lessons to learn…

Alf has a great deal of sympathy for the parents of a lad who has learned an important lesson about digging tunnels.

He heaved his dismay, however, when he learned that health and safety officials had been whistled in to find out what went wrong when a pile of soil collapsed in the McKenzie Country.

What went wrong is bleeding obvious: the lad’s tunnelling ambitions were much too ambitious, his choice of terrain into which to tunnel was ill-informed and his technique was flawed.

Nevertheless we’ve got two investigations under way to examine how a 3m dirt pile collapsed on top of a boy in Twizel at the weekend.

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The Dutch and Germans show the way – by sending their bikies to deal to Islamic State murderers

October 19, 2014
These Hells Angels should have been headed to Iraq and Syria instead of Nelson.

Why should they be allowed to journey to Nelson when they could let off steam in the Middle East?

Alf got another of his great ideas the other day, while reading about Dutch motorbike gang members who have reportedly joined Kurds battling the Islamic State group in Iraq.

The head of the No Surrender gang, Klaas Otto, had told state broadcaster NOS that three members who travelled to near Mosul in northern Iraq were from Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Breda.

But many countries including the Netherlands have been clamping down on countrymen (and sheilas) who try to join the IS jihadists who have taken over swathes of Iraq and Syria.

Dutch measures  include confiscating would-be jihadists’ passports before travelling and threatening prosecution should they return.

The Boss is thinking about similar measures in this country.

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