Keep an eye on Charlie the Chimp – he gibbers, sure, but he would make one helluva great Labour leader

You can have a loser, or a gay...or me.

You can have a loser, or a gay…or me.

Up the road an hour or two from Eketahuna, Stuart Nash has been having second and then third thoughts about Labour’s leadership.

He obviously fancies himself in the job but is running hot and cold on the matter, if we are to believe this report.

A third contender could be about to enter the ring for Labour leadership, with MP Stuart Nash reportedly reconsidering his position.

Mr Nash ruled out contesting the leadership last week, leaving Grant Robertson and former leader David Cunliffe the only candidates in the running.

There is some concern the mood for change in the party won’t be satisfied with Mr Robertson as leader and RadioLIVE reports there is lobbying for Mr Nash who is seen as an electable Prime Minister.

If he can bring in Te Tai Tokerau MP Kelvin Davis as a potential deputy it would secure crucial Maori votes. Unions have a 20 percent say in the election primary and it’s understood they’re open to the idea. In caucus there’s also a sizable group who would likely get in behind him.

Let’s wait and see, then.

But Labour can certainly do with a third runner.

To help them out, Alf signed up Charlie the Chimp – pictured above – as a Labour Party member.

Now he intends putting Charlie’s name forward as a contender for the leadership.

Nash could spoil things, if he changes his mind from last week and decides to stand, although this won’t much help Labour Party members.

It will simply mean they have the choice of a gay, a loser and a procrastinator.

Alf is confident a big majority would much rather vote for Charlie.

He observes that party secretary Tim Barnett – how many bloody gays do they have in their top ranks? – has advised members nominations will close at 5pm on Tuesday 14 October.

Electronic and postal ballot papers will be distributed a few days after that. If you have an email address registered with us, your ballot will be sent to that. Unfinancial members will have until Tuesday 11th November to renew their membership.

Voting will close and the result will be released on Tuesday 18th November.

Alf was minded to sign Charlie and himself on as members last week (he used a bogus name) in anticipation of promoting Charlie’s leadership bid.

He is not sure how the bloke who runs the Dim-Post blog will react, when he considers the merits of having a chimp as leader.

But he certainly knows he isn’t a Cunliffe supporter.

Yesterday he wrote there were two candidates: Grant Robertson and David Cunliffe.

There has been much discussion of their strengths and weaknesses, but one subject has been delicately avoided; perhaps because of political correctness, or fear of reprisal, the unorthodox lifestyle of one of these candidates has been self-censored out of the public dialog. It is the issue that dare not speak its name.

David Cunliffe is openly, unashamedly inane.

Now let me begin by saying that I, personally, have no problem with inanity. There is inanity in my family. I have silly friends. I myself was absurd myself during a brief experimental period as a teenager and I fully support the inane community. But the Labour Party must ask itself hard questions about whether mainstream New Zealanders will elect a preposterous Labour leader as Prime Minister.

David Cunliffe has made no secret of his inanity. He has openly celebrated his inane lifestyle. Just recently he gave a rousing victory speech on the night of his historic election defeat and only yesterday he told John Campbell that he lost the election because voters prefer stability and prosperity. David Cunliffe deserves our support and praise for having the courage to be open about his daftness.

But is New Zealand ready to be government by someone who constantly says and does stupid, stupid things? Are we mature enough as a people to have a guy who criticised secret trusts while operating a secret trust, and who attacked Key for living in a large mansion while he himself lived in a large mansion representing us on the world stage? Are we wise and sophisticated enough to elect someone rash and silly? I would like to think we are, but realistically I fear the answer is no.

The Dim-Post went on to say  the inane had made great strides during the last few decades.

People with terrible judgement were once shunned and mocked but now New Zealand’s business, entertainment and media communities are proudly led by gibbering, empty-headed morons.

Alf intends promoting Charlie as a candidate who gibbers but who is by no means an empty-headed moron.

Not by chimp standards, certainly, and you don’t have to be too bright to be smarter than most lefties.




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