Alf has revised his view of the North Korean despot, Kim Jong Un, a bloke he had been apt to dismiss as mad as well as tyrannical.
A fierce and highly admirable patriotic streak that Alf admires became evident today.
The young bugger is reported to have ordered one of his top military officials be dragged from his home and shot by firing squad for…
For bloody good reasons, in this case.
The top military official had changed the words of a socialist anthem when singing karaoke.
Kim was said to be furious after learning the man had changed the lines ‘thanks to our party’ to ‘thanks to your party’ and ‘Hate your enemies, love your country,’ to ‘Hate your wife, love your mistress’.
The ‘Supreme Leader’ said that the move was sign of a rebellious spirit and the man was instantly dragged out of his home and put to death by firing squad the next day.
Frankly, Alf feels similarly strongly about efforts to change our flag.
The flag is fine just as it is.
The malcontents who want to change it should be treated the same way as top North Korean military men who tamper with a socialist anthem.
Those whose proposed changes would eliminate the critical Union Jack component of our flag should be treated more harshly. In their case a good old-fashioned hanging, drawing and quartering should be ordered.
Yes, Alf appreciates that his public expression of these sentiments might bring him into bad odour in the party hierarchy.
But dammit, a patriot who doesn’t stand up for the flag should stand condemned of disloyalty to the realm. And those who want to rip up the flag and replace it should stand condemned of treason.
Fellow patriots can make up their own minds about the implications of these beliefs for the people responsible for decisions referred to in a statement issued on 29 October in the names of our leader and his deputy:
Cabinet has agreed on the details of the flag referendum process and every political party represented in Parliament has been invited to take part, say Prime Minister John Key and Deputy Prime Minister Bill English.
“Our flag is the most important symbol of our national identity and I believe that this is the right time for New Zealanders to consider changing the design to one that better reflects our status as a modern, independent nation,” Mr Key says.
“However, as I have also said, retaining the current flag is a possible outcome of this process and the consideration of options will be done carefully, respectfully and with no presumption in favour of change.”
It is a tragedy that Alf was not promoted to the Cabinet, because obviously that once-august body needed challenging on the flag and being put on the straight and narrow long before it agreed that English would be the minister responsible for the flag consideration process.
The extent to which the flag has been dishonoured already is sadly reflected in the fact that letters have been sent to each of the political party leaders in Parliament, inviting them to nominate an MP to join a cross-party group of MPs which will have two key tasks.
Let’s hear the details from English, who deserves a bloody good horse-whipping next time he shows his face back in Dipton.
“The first will be nominating suitable candidates for a Flag Consideration Panel, which will be a group of respected New Zealanders who will seek submissions from the public on new flag designs and suggestions.
“The second task will be to review the draft legislation which will enable the proposed two binding referendums on the flag to go ahead. The first referendum, which will be held late next year, will invite the public to choose a preferred design from a range put forward by the Flag Consideration Panel, and the second referendum, to be held in 2016, will be a run-off between the preferred design and the current flag.
A Cabinet paper was released. It outlines the details and time-frame that Cabinet has agreed on including the principles that will guide the consideration process, the projected timeline and the costs.
Ah, yes. The costs.
The total cost spread across two financial years is estimated at $25.7 million, with most of that going on the referendums themselves and on the public engagement process which is required to ensure that the public is well-informed and has the opportunity to participate.”
It is plainly ludicrous to talk (as Key and English did) of a group of “respected New Zealanders” being chosen to sit on a Flag Consideration Panel.
The moment they look at another design they will lose Alf’s respect and deserve to lose the respect of every loyal Kiwi.
And the moment they express a fondness for any design that excludes the Union Jack…
Well, that’s when the North Korean treatment should kick in.
Or the medieval treatment of hanging, drawing and quartering.