A bit of carnage in the newsrooms wouldn’t go astray, if it rids us of beat-ups and hyperbole

Attention hacks and headline writers - this is what carnage looks like.

Attention hacks and headline writers – this is what carnage looks like.

It’s time the pest exterminators were moved in to rid us of the hyperbolic beat-up bozos who infest the nation’s newsrooms.

The beat-up brigade’s simple mission is to take an accident and turn it into a catastrophe simply by amplifying the language.

Their malevolent misuse of the English language results in politicians lashing out at their critics, rather than responding to them.

Likewise a few unfortunate deaths are converted into “carnage”.

A few deaths do not amount to carnage, of course.

The definitions Alf dug up here show it means:

Massive slaughter, as in war; a massacre.

Extensive slaughter, esp of human beings in battle

The slaughter of a great number of people.

Readers of the Stuff website accordingly can be forgiven for thinking the crazy bastards from ISIS might be storming down State Highway One in their tanks on reading:

Carnage on North Island roads

The accompanying picture of one cop standing by a police car does not bode well for the state of our defences.

Sad to say, there were some deaths.

The death toll was three people and there’s a possibility this by now has become four.

But furthermore, sad to day, there is nothing extraordinary about four road deaths in a day.

The beat-up bozos are bursting to have you believe otherwise.

They have injected words like “horror” as well as carnage into their purple prose:

A horror day on North Island roads has left three people dead and a 20-year-old man fighting for his life.

The carnage began in Northland early today.

A car carrying two children and two adults crashed through a fence and into a paddock at Waipu south of Whangarei at about 2.30am.

A six-year-old boy died at the scene.

No other vehicles were involved, police said.

So far we have one road accident and , sadly but not unusually, it resulted in a child’s death.

Next on the list:

In Tokoroa, police were today speaking to a woman, after a 20-year-old man was struck by a car at 12pm.

Emergency services were called to Cramond Rd after the incident.

”Police are investigating the circumstances which led to his injuries and are currently speaking with a woman who is known to the injured man in relation to the incident,” a police spokeswoman said.

The injured man was airlifted to Waikato Hospital in a critical condition.

Hmm, We are bound to hear more about this.

Later, in Auckland, a driver died after a crash at the intersection of Great North and West Coast Roads, in Kelston at 3:24pm.

Rahil Kumar, a worker at a nearby service station, said he heard a bang outside, and went to have a look.

A car had gone straight through a nearby barrier, he said.

People rushed to help the stricken driver.

However he died despite attempts to resuscitate him.

An ambulance spokesman said the driver was found in cardiac arrest, however the sequence of events was still to be determined.

So – this one sounds like a motorist who had a heart attack. Let’s wait and see.

And then…

Later in the afternoon, a motorcyclist died after a collision with a car near Cambridge.

The accident happened on Cambridge Rd, south of the town.

The rider died at the scene and the driver of the car was taken to Waikato Hospital in a serious condition, police said.

The families and friends of the victims, Alf is sure, will be devastated. He extends his sympathies.

But he does not share the Stuff hacks’ view that this was carnage.



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