We should wonder what Louisa Wall makes of a Kiwi bloke’s run-in with Myanmar officials

December 19, 2014
Be careful, if you want to use this bloke in your marketing campaign. this fellow

Be careful, if you want to use this bloke in your marketing campaign.

Betcha the authorities in Myanmar are fair trembling, after Amnesty International stuck its nose into the matter of the New Zealand bloke and two Myanmar men who have been accused of insulting Buddhism.

The hapless Kiwi is one Philip Blackwood, 32, who has appeared before a Myanmar court after using an image of the Buddha to promote a cheap booze night at the bar he managed.

According to this Radio NZ report:

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Squirrels and beavers put a glitch into the modelling that has been used to chart climate warming

December 18, 2014
All mouth, like a greenie ... and bad for the environment, too.

All mouth, like a greenie … and bad for the environment, too.

All those tiresome greenies and lefties who have been giving our wonderful National-led government a hard time over climate warming should go back to the drawing board.

New information has emerged about the causes of global warming which suggest they have to revisit the models that show rising temperatures and which by and large get too many people into a great deal of bother about the world’s future.

This information is being disseminated today and highlights the role of rodents (a category into which your hard-working MP is apt to place greenies and lefties).

An account can be found here in Britain’s The Telegraph:

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Feds are fuming at safety inspectors – but the judge decided the size of the fines in quad bike case

December 17, 2014

Alf has a soft spot for the good folk at Federated Farmers, especially because they always send him an invitation to their pre-Christmas party in Wellington which he enjoys attending.

But he is not entirely sympathetic to their complaint that WorkSafe New Zealand is out of control for pursuing charges against a farming couple for failing to wear helmets on their quad bike.

An account of what happened can be found here at Stuff.

Marlborough farming couple has been fined $40,000 for not wearing helmets while riding their quad bikes.

Phillip Andrew Jones, 33, and Maria Anna Carlson, 30, were spotted by WorkSafe New Zealand inspectors riding a quad bike without helmets on a Havelock farm on multiple occasions since 2012.

The pair were absent from the Blenheim District Court when they were sentenced by Judge Tony Zohrab yesterday.

The court heard the pair, who have a share-milking partnership on the farm, were given multiple warnings by WorkSafe to wear helmets while on their quad bikes, but continued to be non-compliant.

So what does “multiple warnings” mean?

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Want to see why Delahunty got a 2/10 mark from Trans Tasman? Just look at her Treaty thinking

December 16, 2014
And in the year 2014 this treaty will entitle your people to a 50:50 share of all governance arrangements...

And when we Pakeha become more politically enlightened, this treaty will entitle your people to a 50:50 share of all governance arrangements…

Alf hadn’t noticed a recent opinion piece by Gareth Morgan, the bloke with a dislike of moggies but – hurrah – a great urge to preserve our democracy.

Morgan was contributing to the debate over Maori representation on local councils.

More particularly, he was taking issue with New Plymouth’s (very temporary) Mayor, Andrew Judd, who had embroiled himself in a debate over whether his council should have a Maori ward and was calling for all councils to have Maori provide half of their councils.

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Strict UK rules constrain the questioning of terror suspects – so please don’t shout or throw insults

December 14, 2014
Sorry, but we haven't trained the dog to bark quietly yet.

Sorry, but we haven’t trained the dog to muffle his snarling yet.

Dunno why the bloody Brits don’t just wave a flag of surrender and tell the world’s terrorists to come and take over the country.

Alf makes this observation on learning that British soldiers have “lost their capability” to interrogate terrorist insurgents because of strict new rules on questioning.

He would be inclined to slap these suspects around a bit and maybe stick a knee into their goolies.

But nah. This isn’t cricket, old boy.

Hollering “howzat” would not be permitted within earshot of a terrorist suspect because the rules are seriously restrictive. They …

* Ban shouting in captives’ ears. Yep. Seriously.

* They prevent military intelligence officers from banging their fists on tables or walls,

* And they ban the use of “insulting words” when interrogating a suspect.


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Oh, no – it’s Cho who goes in a world where the relationship between boss and staff has gone nuts

December 13, 2014
The sorry sight of a boss who is being harshly treated.

The sorry sight of a boss who is being harshly treated.

Alf is bound to say he has some sympathy for the Korean Air sheila who has been excoriated around the world simply for demanding better service than she was given.

Correction: he has heaps of sympathy for her.

The Daily Mail is among the newspapers rejoicing at pictures showing her bowing her head in shame after making a grovelling apology for exploding with rage after her snack was served in a bag.

Dammit, when she blew a fuse she wasn’t flying down the back of the airliner with hoi-polloi who would appreciate being tossed a bag of nuts.

Nah. She was flying in the first-class bit with the posh passengers.

She was the chairman’s daughter.

And she was in charge of in-flight service.
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Well done, Boss – we are now reassured that those brain fades haven’t become a chronic condition

December 12, 2014

Memory-Upgrade-cartoonAlf’s memory isn’t up to much nowadays but he does recall some of The Boss’s struggles with forgetfulness.

There was the time when John could not remember being told of the Government Communications Security Bureau’s surveillance of internet tycoon Kim Dotcom.

And then there was the time – as TV3 reported – when he heard that most voters in a new poll thought the drinking age should have been raised to 20, and he said he agreed with them.

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Seymour should ask how many more votes ACT might get if it wasn’t so precious about corporate handouts

December 11, 2014
Then you fill it up with dollars and it's first in, first served...

Then you fill it up with dollars and it’s first in, first served…

Alf admires the aplomb with which his good mate Steven Joyce brushes off any suggestion a Tory Government should not be dishing out a rich swill for corporate oinkers.

If business benefactors find we Tories won’t reward them with a bit of corporate welfare now and again, the bloody economy would grind to a halt because we can be damned sure a pinko government won’t be helping them.

ACT’s David Seymour, who is new to this sort of thing, has a lot to learn because he was putting Parliamentary questions to Joyce yesterday on this subject. Obviously he disapproves of our generosity to Big Business.

He wanted to know if Steven was concerned at the scale of corporate welfare in New Zealand under this Government and if not, why not?

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Willie agrees Maori are entitled to a half-share of political power, but he’ll settle for less for now

December 10, 2014

Willie Jackson has popped up in New Plymouth to confirm Alf’s suspicions that some indigenous persons in this country feel the Treaty of Waitangi entitles them to a half share of anything that’s up for grabs, especially a slice of the political action.

He can count on bumping into some craven Pakeha person who is only too willing to give away the half share of the action that Jackson is claiming.

New Plymouth mayor Andrew Judd comes into this category. He reckons Maori should be given half the seats on his council – and on every other council in the land. Never minds what the citizens think.

Jackson obviously concurs that this is a fair go.

According to this report in the Daily News:

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Speaker steers us away from the godless path that would have taken Christmas dinner out of our lives

December 9, 2014

Well done David Carter.

The Speaker of the House has announced that the traditional prayer he uses to open daily sittings of Parliament will remain as it is, with its Christian references.

As the Herald reports:

He undertook a very low-key consultation process with MPs and offered an alternative that would remove religious references to “Almight God” and “Jesus Christ our Lord” from the English version.

However his alternative prayer included lines in Maori – E te Atua Kaha Rawa – that translates to “Almighty God,” something Assistant Speaker Trevor Mallard described as “almost dishonest.”

As well as that, the Speaker would have included a daily acknowledgment to the local tribe Te Ati Awa.

Mr Carter would entertain no debate on an alternative; it would be either the current prayer or the alternative he proposed.

He refused any comment, clearly seeing it as a matter only for MPs.

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