Moaning Minto makes a mad demand to house poor people at public expense on posh properties

 

Let the loony lefties take over and this will become part of the country’s social housing stock.

The NZ Herald  has gone all soft and pappy today, telling readers if they want a state house or “social housing” with a view, forget it.

Beautiful views are banned in a draft new Government policy, the Herald bleats. Double garages and decks are out, too.

The tone is thoroughly disapproving.

But the draft policy makes a lot of sense to Alf. Anything contrary would be a daft policy.

If a property has a beautiful view, the buggers who live in it should pay for it. Not taxpayers.

It sounds like housing officials have the good sense to agree.

Pay rises and perks – some MPs say they don’t deserve them but here’s betting few give them back

You can be sure the Dom-Post mob didn’t bother chatting with Alf.

The tossers are saying MPs are reluctant to accept an $8200 pay rise and are calling for the system that rewards them to be overhauled.

You can put your money on Alf not being among those breast-beating plonkers.

Come to think of it, you have put your money on Alf because you have been paying his salary every since he was first elected.

And now you will be putting a bit more into his pocket after the Remuneration Authority published its determination which hikes a back-bencher’s salary by 5.4 per cent to $156,000 a year.

Struck off: the further disgrace of an ex-lawyer who once aspired to be a Maori Party MP

The Lawyers and Conveyancers Disciplinary Tribunal is showing a troubling disregard for the notion that indigenous persons should be regarded as special.

It has ruled that an ex-lawyer, one Davina Murray, be struck off because she was unanimously found “not a fit and proper person to operate as a legal practitioner”.

Bearing in mind the fitness and propriety of some legal practitioners of Alf’s acquaintance, this is a damning decision.

Because Murray is an indigenous person it seemed improbable she would be subjected to such harsh treatment.

But the NZ Herald today is reporting:

Bad buggers will now find it that much harder to persuade the Parole Board to give them a break

Alf looks forward to returning home at the end of the week to bask in the acclamation of his mates in the Eketahuna Club. They are tough on law and order and will be chuffed about the passage of some legislation dealing with parole hearings.

The Bill was aimed at reducing the number of unnecessary parole hearings for offenders who still pose a threat to the community.

It increases the maximum interval between hearings from one year to two years. For serious offenders on indeterminate sentences – such as life imprisonment or preventive detention – or sentences of 10 or more years, the maximum time between parole hearings increases from three to five years.

The Bill also includes a range of measures to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of the parole system.

Helped by an “aye” vote from Alf, it passed its third and final reading in Parliament last night.

Ratana take the t-shirts off the backs of their people – and all because of a political joke

Those of you who bothered taking much notice (if any) of the politicians who flocked to the Ratana Church birthday bash a week or so ago probably missed it.

Alf most certainly can’t remember the media drawing attention to it, and they always pounce like vultures when they see this sort of thing.

The chance they missed -we now find – was a prime ministerial blue.

Yep. The Boss blundered.

Personally, Alf reckons he blundered simply by turning up there to pay homage to a bloke who claimed a century or so ago to have seen a vision.

Moreover he regarded this vision as divinely inspired,and he likened himself to Christ.

Cr Linda Cooper didn’t have to say sorry, surely, just for cutting a c**k down to size

Oh dear. A complaint of sizeism – by the look of it – has been lodged with the Auckland Council.

It has been prompted by  Councillor Linda Cooper calling some bloke a “judgmental little c**k” in a Facebook exchange of views about this weekend’s Pride Parade.

Actually, Alf strongly suspects the asterisks have been put into one of those four words because someone at Stuff doesn’t have the balls to stick to the word “cock”.  Or (come to think of it) maybe it was “cask”?

Whatever it was, the word “little” was obviously deeply troubling to someone. Cooper clearly ought to have described the bloke as a bloody big judgmental cock (or cask, or c**k) to escape a fuss.

A fuss about fund-raising, refunds and face-slapping – oh, and John Key come into the frame, too

Alf was drawn to a Sunday newspaper beatup today about a National MP receiving $25,000 from a controversial businessman after The Boss had a private dinner with him at the man’s home.

The donation will be be confirmed – readers are told – when electoral returns are published next week.

Before going beyond the first paragraph the long-serving Member for Eketahuna North was braced for phone calls from constituents demanding to know if he was the MP in question, and who in the neighbourhood was dishing out $25,000 donations.

But it quickly became clear no such calls were likely.

The donation in question harks back to the fuss about a Chinese gentleman by name of Donghua Liu.

Hekia has encountered some risky behaviours, too, but is giving troubled charter school another chance

Mrs Grumble shied off doing some online checking into the charter school that has been told to pull up its socks.

She had been keen to find out something more about the Northland school that has been told it is failing and has already cost taxpayers about $1.5 million – a number that (according to Stuff’s education sector sources) could double.

This bothers Alf and the missus because this is money that might well be spent on something dear to we Nats, such as Team NZ.

So what’s the school got to say for itself?

When a Google search to the school website was undertaken, our anti-virus software sounded a warning:

Whoa!

Are you sure you want to go there?

http://tkhkwhangaruru.ac.nz/ may be risky to visit.

Why were you redirected to this page?

• When we visited this site, we found it exhibited one or more risky behaviors.

 

Risky behaviours?

What possibly could this mean?

Much ado about Little – a tawdry tale of the Labour leader’s failure to keep a wedding vow

But Andrew reneged on the nuptials.

Alf was bemused by a post at Imperator Fish, where the privilege of a guest post has been extended to one Norman Wildebeest.

This Wildebeest bloke is described as a respectable town planner, although Alf has never encountered such a creature in his many years in politics. He is also described as a wine judge (a much more admirable calling) and a serial arsonist (which could be countenanced provided he could be relied on to torch appropriate targets, such as Labour Party headquarters in Eketahuna North).

Our cops deserve something fit for a SWOT team … but must settle for something more rustic

They will go crime-fighting with this…

…rather than this.

Alf was seriously excited  – for a while at least – by a report from Littlefield, Arkansas.

It said the Littlefield Police Department had acquired a 200 kiloton nuclear warhead under a US Department of Defense programme that distributed surplus weapons to local agencies throughout the USA.

The device, which is ten times more powerful than the bomb detonated over Hiroshima in World War II, will be used to deter crime in Littlefield and the greater Jasper County area, Police Chief Jefferson Bailey said.

“There will be no more crime in Littlefield,” Bailey said, “Because if there is, I’ll blow this town sky-high.”

Many of Littlefield’s 15,000 residents, according to the report, had  expressed concern over its police department’s acquisition of the nuclear weapon and the guidelines governing its potential use.