Honest, Hone … we are planning to make young people more employable, not to enslave them

October 10, 2012

Here’s what Hone thinks is happening…

Ha! We should have expected a bucket of bollocks from the Mana Party in response to your splendid Government’s highly commendable intention to introduce new labour laws.

He calls it slavery.

Not so. The legislation will allow employers to pay 80% of the minimum wage, or $10.80 and hour to some teenage workers for the first six months in a new job.

A Radio NZ item (here) explains that workers aged 16 and 17 can already be paid the lower wage for three months.

But when we are offering those young people a good deal – then why not let more young people share the goodies and enjoy them for a longer period?

Read the rest of this entry »


Let’s brace for another hikoi – but this one is too late, because bits of NZ have been sold already

April 21, 2012

The tossers who are organising a hikoi, in the aftermath of the latest Crafar farms sale decision, should get together with the tossers at the Campaign Against Foreign Control of Aotearoa.

They both seem to have a problem with foreign investment in New Zealand.

But one of them is saying Aotearoa is not for sale and the other is saying too much of it has been sold already.

A hikoi, of course, is the Maori way of getting from the Far North to Wellington without air tickets so they can wave placards and shout abuse at politicians.

Alf accordingly is bracing to be abused yet again in a fortnight or so because the Crafar sale decision has triggered plans for another one.

Read the rest of this entry »


Bosses need to wake up to how daylight saving and cyberloafing are screwing them

March 11, 2012

Alf has never been an enthusiast for daylight saving. Among other considerations, it requires him to alter his household clocks twice a year, a tiresome chore which challenges his manual dexterity, and he finds it disconcerting to be headed for the club for a few snorts when it seems there is ample daylight for another hour or two for outdoor activities.

Thus he is delighted to find another good economic argument against daylight saving.

He was already aware of research showing daylight saving results in increased energy usage, something that should have become a matter of concern for the bloody Greens, you would think.

Now he can draw his constituents’ attention to research which suggests that people “cyberloaf” – websurf instead of working – more when they are tired. This in turn can be related to daylight saving.

Alf will be bringing the costs of daylight saving to the attention of The Boss and our Ministers of Finance and Labour and will be raising his concerns with the Productivity Commission.

He was alerted to the research on cyberloafing by a post on the Freakonomics website.

Read the rest of this entry »


Dr Doom opens up another front for the economic pessimists and warns about Iran

January 30, 2012

Gotta tell The Boss we are under threat – when it comes to the economy, the budget deficit and all that – from a new quarter.

The Boss and his advisers remain relatively chirpy but are a bit bothered about what might happen in Europe.

As he said in his State of the Nation speech the other day, the Government is still on track to get back into surplus in 2014/15 but it would push out the date if the global economy went into meltdown.

The upcoming Budget Policy Statement in February will forecast a surplus in the range of $300 to $500 million, he said.

But referring to the possibility that the Europe debt crisis could push the world back into recession, he said: “If the absolute worst happened and there was a major shock to the global economy, the Government would look at whether retaining that surplus target would actually harm the economy by forcing a sharp reduction in demand…”

Read the rest of this entry »


The chances of recession gripping the US again are troubling – and NZ will be hit by the fallout

August 7, 2011

All eyes will be on this country tomorrow – all eyes from financiers and their analysts, anyway – after the latest blow struck to the battered world financial markets by America’s loss of its Triple-A credit rating.

New Zealand’s market, and then Austalia’s, will be the first in the world to have to deal with the shock waves.

The downgrading came late on Friday night in New York, after world markets had closed for the week.

So what does this stuff bring to the good people of Eketahuna North?

Uncertainty is the short answer.

Read the rest of this entry »


It sounds like bollocks, but a research paper links GDP growth to the length of our willies

July 28, 2011

Alf has come across a bit of economic research with deeply perturbing implications.

The paper – he kids you not – is entitled Male Organ and Economic Growth: Does Size Matter?

The author is a Tatu Westling, from the University of Helsinki.

Here’s the abstract of the discussion paper:

Read the rest of this entry »


The Treasury forecasters say 170,000 new jobs – so who are we to quibble?

June 10, 2011

And you can throw 170,000 net new jobs into your Budget speech, Bill.


Dunno why the socialist sceptics about employment growth don’t take their silly questions to the Treasury.

The bright buggers there know where their numbers come from.

And it’s their numbers that we find in the Budget forecasts.

Labour MPs are wasting their breath, therefore, trying to find out what the Ministry for Economic Development is doing to generate those jobs.

The role of the Treasury was emphasised by none other than The Boss just the other day in answer to a parliamentary question.

The irksome Jacinda Ardern asked him if he stood by his statement “the Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs”?

He put her in her place real fast:

“I stand by my full statement, which was: ‘The Treasury forecasts are that the Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs’, and that is true.”

Read the rest of this entry »


Spare us the wailing from sheilas who haven’t checked what the PM said about Working for Families

March 5, 2011

Poverty affects rugby, too - these poor buggers can't afford togs.

A couple of sheilas up Waikato way are complaining about the Government giving money to the Rugby World Cup ahead of poverty-stricken women.

But Alf has cause to seriously question their grasp of things after reading a media statement they have issued.

The buggers are bothered about gender equality.

And they are hostile towards Government plans to chip in a bit more money for the Rugby World Cup, although this seems an extraordinarily worthy cause.

Their hostility towards this expenditure amounts to hostility towards rugby, which Alf is sure would be a treasonable offence in their part of the country if Waikato was a sovereign state.

Read the rest of this entry »


Spreading poisonous portents about prices and empty shops should be punished with a prison term

December 27, 2010

Being told what it will cost in a few months took the edge off Alf's appetite.

Full of Christmas cheer and that joy-to-the-world feeling, Alf was dismayed to find the NZ Herald giving news space to some grumble guts from the Institute of Economic Research who plainly is intent on destroying the mood of merriment built during the festive season.

The bugger is telling us that food prices are soaring, which is not what Alf wants to hear as he clambers into the Christmas dinner left-overs.

Alf especially does not want to hear it when he is still celebrating his MPs’ pay rise.

By March, the economist predicts, food prices will be 8 to 10 per cent higher than they were last March.

This merchant of misery and peddler of pessimism is the institute’s principal economist, who no doubt lost any aptitude for feeling merry as a consequence of being named Shamubeel Eaqub.

Anyone who wandered into the Eketahuna Club and introduced himself as Shamubeel Eaqub would be suspected of being foreign, maybe Islamic, and perhaps with bombs strapped to his under-garments or stuck up his nether regions.

He would be given a wide berth.

Read the rest of this entry »


When Standard & Poor’s exposes our savings problem, we can bank on the Maori Party providing a solution

November 25, 2010

You’ve got to admire the Maori Party’s zeal and gall, and its readiness to seize on any issue to promote a Maori approach to doing things.

Take savings, for example.

Savings (or our lack of them) has been the subject of heated discussion in recent days, since the Standard and Poor’s mob put the frighteners into us about our debt.

Read the rest of this entry »