When all the kids are dressed the same, a sneaky kiss behind the dunnies will be perilous

May 29, 2015
Let's just call it "The Bog".

Let’s just call it “The Bog”.

Alf does not not know if it is a reliable expectation or a vain hope.

He hopes it’s the former.

It’s the Family First NZ assertion that most schools along with the parents in the school community will rightly reject the extreme elements of the new sexuality education guidelines.

Family First also says resources should be targeted at parents to help them educate their own children (presumably on the birds and bees stuff).

The statement was prompted by news that schools have been asked to consider offering gender-neutral uniforms as part of new sexuality education guidelines aimed at being more inclusive.

Dunno what this “inclusive” carry-on is all about.

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Hekia has encountered some risky behaviours, too, but is giving troubled charter school another chance

February 21, 2015

Mrs Grumble shied off doing some online checking into the charter school that has been told to pull up its socks.

She had been keen to find out something more about the Northland school that has been told it is failing and has already cost taxpayers about $1.5 million – a number that (according to Stuff’s education sector sources) could double.

This bothers Alf and the missus because this is money that might well be spent on something dear to we Nats, such as Team NZ.

So what’s the school got to say for itself?

When a Google search to the school website was undertaken, our anti-virus software sounded a warning:


Are you sure you want to go there?

http://tkhkwhangaruru.ac.nz/ may be risky to visit.

Why were you redirected to this page?

  • When we visited this site, we found it exhibited one or more risky behaviors.


Risky behaviours?

What possibly could this mean?

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Don’t tell Hekia, but it takes gall to regard September as an early month of the year

September 10, 2014
Enderby Island ... and the end of an education problem if ratbag kids were shipped here.

Enderby Island … and the end of an education problem if ratbag kids were shipped here.

Alf is very fond of Hekia Parata and an admirer of her unwavering optimism.

The media have been banging on about three out of five charter schools failing to meet minimum enrolment targets.

But our indomitable Education Minister is unruffled.

The NZ Herald reports on what she had told Radio NZ:

(a) there is still demand for these schools and (b) it is still early in the year and figures might improve.

September? Early in the year?

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When stripping is part of the action at a posh school for sheilas, Hekia should look at the funding

September 4, 2014
School was never quite like this in Eketahuna.

School was never quite like this in Eketahuna.

Alf was fascinated earlier this year by a report of a real life St Trinian’s in Britain where unruly pupils got up to the sort of hanky-panky that would be punished with a fierce caning in the good old days.

A snap inspection found some of the pupils were involved in a string of bullying incidents as well as reports of brawling, food fights, swearing at teachers, smoking and truancy.

The school was also placed in special measures after the inspectors gave it a Grade 4 rating – the worst it can possibly give out – branding it ‘inadequate’ and ‘requiring improvement.’

The verdict led to comparisons to the fictional St Trinian’s school for girls – originally created by a cartoonist in the 1940s which later became the subject of hit movies.

The school was inspected after it announced it would provide iPads for teachers and pupils

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Schools are entitled to be rid of bad apples – and must be pipped off when they have to take ’em back

August 11, 2014
But beware of the brat who might have slipped a bit of cyanide into it.

But some students might have slipped a bit of cyanide into it.

Alf has been gobsmacked by the latest madness from the mandarins at the Ministry of Education.

He shouldn’t have been. Their madness is chronic and they can’t help themselves.

But now schools are being ordered to re-enrol some brats, delinquents and assorted ratbags they thought they were rid of because they were tossed out for bad behaviour including carrying weapons, physical assaults and drug use.

At least, that’s what we learn today from the NZ Herald.

In the past year, there have been 11 incidences where the Ministry of Education has directed a school to take back a student previously excluded.

The cases involved eight schools and students aged from 11 to 15, information released to the Herald reveals.

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A wacky idea? Not if you believe a disciplinary whack is sadly missing from modern classrooms

July 16, 2014


Alf is apt to avoid giving much credit to Australians, except to acknowledge their prowess at activities such as two-up.

But he makes an exception in the case of the Aussie who heads the Abbott government’s national curriculum review.

His name is Kevin Donnelly and he has backed the use of corporal punishment for ill-disciplined children in schools (although for some curious reason he says this must be supported by the local school community).

Alf learned here of this attempt to bring common sense back into schools and scrap namby-pamby methods that simply don’t work.

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Let’s go to school with Labour to learn 1+1= 3 and “compulsory” te reo means “aspirational”

July 15, 2014


Alf has never thought of the English language as a cultural treasure.

Rather, it is probably the most invaluable tool in his toolkit as the member for Eketahuna North – an instrument for communicating his profound thoughts to a political audience, in much the same way as a surgeon needs a scalpel, a builder needs a hammer and a road builder needs a bulldozer.

Or a Labour politician needs a leader.

Come to think of it, Alf is putting the English language to good use right now.

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Here’s a Brit with bloody good ideas – fining feckless parents for not reading to their kids, for example

June 18, 2014

Sir Michael Wilshaw ... we could do with his attitude Down Under.

Sir Michael Wilshaw … we could do with his attitude Down Under.

Alf will be suggesting to The Boss today that maybe we should think about hiring a fellow called Mike Wilshaw – Sir Michael Wilshaw, actually – who says deprivation too often is used to explain poor performance in the classroom.

That’s exactly what is happening in this country. If a kid performs badly at school, the squawk goes up about poverty – especially if indigenous persons are involved.

Well, get this.

Sir Michael reckons poverty too often is used as an excuse for educational failure among white working-class families in Britain.

In the case of Britain, when you talk about “whites” your are talking about the indigenous people.

Moreover Sir Michael wants school heads empowered to fine mothers and fathers who fail to support their children’s education.

If they don’t read to their children – for example – then wham!

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Ruling on student with Asperger’s syndrome suggests teachers must brace for being roughed up

February 25, 2014

Alf is bound to say he is bothered by a court decision that might result in a teenage boy with Asperger’s syndrome returning to a school from which he was expelled.

The lad – whose condition no doubt explains his behaviour and therefore exempts him from being described as a tosser in this post – had been involved in a tussle with a teacher over a skateboard.

The unfortunate teacher has every good reason to be upset that the student might soon be back because the High Court at Auckland has overturned Green Bay High School’s decision to exclude the boy last year.

The expulsion followed a series of incidents and the boy, who has name suppression, has been out of mainstream education for 10 months.

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Take away the school playground rules and look what happens – the kids are smarter and happier

January 27, 2014


Here’s another “hurrah” post from National’s branch HQ in Eketanuna North.

It is a big hurrah of approval for happenings in Auckland, a city which Alf generally recommends is best avoided.

But obviously some good things go on in Auckland.

Whale Oil is based there, for example, which means his mighty blog is brought to us each day from that city.

We have learned today of another good thing happening in Auckland – the ripping up of the playground rulebook at one of its schools.

The consequence is to affirm what Alf has long believed.

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