It's better to find a bone that's much too big to be human.
If you happen to dig up a bone on your property, Alf’s advice is to keep quiet about it.
Especially if it is a somewhat bigger bone than your dog might have buried.
The trouble with finding bones is that they might be human.
And the trouble with finding they might be human bones is that you will then have an army of busy-bodies crawling all over your property, mumbling prayers, engaging in anthropological digging and otherwise being a pain in the arse.
It is understandable that the cops should want to show an interest. Who knows what foul deed might have been committed?
The cops, of course, will have to call on a pathologist.
But a small army of other tossers will want to invade your patch, too.
That’s what has happened in Hamilton in recent days, although Alf is happy to concede that in this case the property-owner is relaxed about the home invasion triggered by the discovery.
The Herald tells the story here.
Two children playing at their Hamilton home discovered what could be a 100-year-old human bone.
Sarah Nathan said she was surprised when her children presented her with the bone, which they had found in a dirt bank at their MacDiarmid Rd home in Beerescourt while playing on Monday.
They initially thought it was from an animal but a pathologist said it was a human thigh bone.
“It is just in an area under the house where we store building materials,” said Ms Nathan.
“The kids were digging around in the dirt and it was just sticking out and they pulled it out.”
Hmm. Naturally, the cops will want to establish whose bone it is, how old it is and anything else to explain how it got there.
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