If gender balance is needed in every business and agency – then here’s why the idea is a load of balls

December 7, 2014

Dunno why sheilas keep banging on about gender balance, but – alas – they do.

This carping, Alf supposes, is an inevitable consequence of giving them the vote, which only goes to show what a big mistake that was.

Since then it has been all downhill and we are near the bottom, but some feisty academic of the female persuasion wants to push things further nevertheless.

She’s a Massey University professor who has seized on the same idea that made Labour a laughing stock not too long ago.

She is championing a quota system to boost female representation in the workplace and help fix gender inequality, about which Alf is inclined to make two observations:

* There is no point in trying to fix something that is working perfectly already.

* And how can a business be improved by discarding talent, ability and merit as the basis for hiring?


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Carter Holt learns to its cost how to deal with a worker who used the “f” word, but only in fun

November 5, 2014
It's easy for a hermaphrodite to take the aggrieved worker's advice...

Hermaphrodites are better equipped than bosses to take the aggrieved worker’s advice…

It’s cheering to learn that something Alf is apt to say when appropriately infuriated isn’t as disagreeable as he supposed.

Telling someone to go fuck yourself, to the contrary, can be a nice little earner, depending on how the recipient of the advice reacts.

We learn this from a Herald report of a ruling by the Employment Relations Authority, a remarkable outfit with the skill to recognise the fun side of a bit of verbal howz-yer-father in the workplace.

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Taxpayers Union blows the whistle on a nice little caper whereby MPs can circumvent NZ’s labour laws

January 8, 2014

It looks like the Taxpayers’ Union – an outfit with aims generally supported by the Member for Eketahuna North – might have rumbled to a bit of carry-on he will confess to having exploited.

It’s a wheeze that resulted in MPs chewing through more than $65,000 per month on payouts to avoid messy employment grievances.

Jordan Williams, the union’s Executive Director, exposed the costs of the practice in a media release today, obviously after doing a bit of snooping by brandishing the Official Information Act.

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Give our iwi a break – privilege is for Pakeha and what Maori are fishing for is simply an exemption

July 27, 2013

John Banks just doesn’t get it.

He fails to recognise that our indigenous people are special and should be treated accordingly.

That goes for their business activities, too.

And so there should be no surprise to find a select committee has recommended that Maori fishing quota holders be exempt from legislation designed to protect migrant workers on foreign chartered vessels from exploitation.

But according to the Herald (here), Banks fails to recognise that this is no more than special treatment being properly recommended for our special people.

He calls it privilege.

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A weekly (or weakly) wage isn’t intended to support life – rather, it is there to be worked for

February 11, 2013

The headline at Stuff (here) is somewhat misleading.

It says –

Key not keen on Living Wage

This is a reference (as we shall see) to The Boss.

And The Boss happened to have been discussing this matter with a colleague who passed on the gist of their chat to Alf, who accordingly can be sure about what Key is keen on and isn’t so keen on.

For the record, bearing in mind this comes to us somewhat second-hand, he is supposed to have said he is not keen on a living wage for those lower down in the pecking order, but he is very much in favour of a living wage – with plenty left over – for himself.

A luxury living wage, in fact.

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Hear, hear – dismissal was appropriate after newborn kids were given bum tests

December 20, 2012
Now hear this...

Now hear this…

Alf couldn’t believe his ears, when Mrs Grumble read him a news item this morning.

It was about eight hearing-test screeners who had lost their jobs after more than 2000 newborns were not screened properly.

Wow. Heads rolling, eh?

Much too often we hear of outrageous things going on, but those responsible for the outrages are allowed to stay on in their jobs.

Not in this case (as we learn here ) –

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Lessons from a Lib Dem – if you quit work to have babies, your career rise is likely to be disrupted

November 14, 2012

Maybe we need British Lib Dem minister Lynne Featherstone to come here and tell it like it is, rather than tell it the way too many women want it to be.

She recognises that women taking a break to have children allow men to climb the ladder faster.

And this explains gender inequalities in the workplace.

This should be self-evident.

Moreover, it should be clear that governments can not legislate to make men have babies and so make things more equitable.

Clear to most people, anyway, although maybe not to fluffy-headed feminists and leftie MPs.

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When men are paid more than women, maybe there’s something more at work than equal effort

November 12, 2012

The grouching Greenies have given further good cause to be kept in opposition permanently – or (even better) booted out of Parliament.

They are saying our splendid National Government needs to take responsibility for increasing gender pay inequity.

Their silly demands (recorded here) have been triggered by the latest wage statistics.

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We could catch the Aussies on the hop by giving them our stroppy wharfies

January 17, 2012

An influx of Kiwi wharfies should slow 'em down.

Alf hadn’t taken too much notice of the brouhaha at Ports of Auckland, where the Maritime Union is bridling against the bosses’ highly commendable aim of having more work done on a contract basis.

But the merits of what the bosses are trying to do were clearly illustrated in a media statement from the union which landed in Alf’s e-mail in-tray yesterday.

It was headed Port workers will leave New Zealand if jobs outsourced.

As a true-blue Nat whose attitudes to unions have been honed in a rural community, this strikes Alf as an eminently attractive proposition.

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Let’s extend the 90-day trial period to politicians before they can become entrenched as troughers

July 18, 2010

The Government is about to do employers a big favour, with its plans to extend the 90-day trial period for hiring staff.

The trial period allows the boss to fire a new worker within the first three months of hiring him or her, without the fired worker – or drone, more like it – having the right to take one of those bloody vexing and costly personal grievance cases.

The idea, as Alf understands it, is to extend the scheme to companies with more than 20 workers, as part of a package of workplace law reforms.

Obviously this will ease the way for bosses to get rid of any recently hired staffer who turns out to be a drone, a pain in the arse, a trouble-maker, or whatever.

The percentage of such people – by the way – is much greater than Alf had previously understood.

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