SkyCity incident involving Paul Henry raises an interesting question about bigotry towards bigots

June 22, 2015

A small confession: Alf is not averse to a bit of biffo, in appropriate circumstances.

Another confession: he happens to regard Paul Henry as fondly as he regards a moth or fly that has flown on a kamikaze mission into his whisky.

And thirdly, as a firm believer in human rights, Alf staunchly stands by a bloke’s right to be a bigot.

Accordingly he feels tempted to take a dim view of the fellow who has been accused of assaulting Paul Henry and who allegedly told police the television presenter was “a racist and a bigot who should expect consequences for his views”.

Guilt- it must be emphasised – has yet to be established.

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Another British judge does the right thing by bringing cultural attitudes to discipline into account

June 10, 2015


For a moment – maybe two or three moments – Alf was struggling to suppress his feelings of outrage.

A High Court judge in Britain had said immigrant parents should be allowed to slap and hit their children when they are new arrivals in Britain.

Nothing wrong with the slapping of children in Alf’s value system.

It’s the discrimination on cultural grounds that was upsetting (but only until second thoughts kicked in):

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Couple are being dogged by the microchip police in case dating back to their choice of farm dogs

June 6, 2015
The workers can be a handful...

The workers can be a handful…

When Alf drives from Eketahuna to Parliament to apply his enormous talents to the country’s governance, he passes through the town of Greytown.

And somewhere in the district in or around Greytown (he hasn’t actually gone looking) he would find a couple who are making a name for themselves for defying the microchippers.

One of the stroppy twosome is 72-year-old John Edward Phelps, who a year or so ago failed to persuade a judge his 10 lap dogs had been mustering sheep on his family farm.

His crime – if you can call it that – was the consequence of the legislative folly of the previous Labour Government, which made microchipping of pooches compulsory in response to a few maulings of children.

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Drama teacher’s rumpy-pumpy with students took sex education too far – but cops were indifferent

June 4, 2015

So what must teachers do to interest the police in the legality or propriety of their sexual relations with students?

Much more than a bit of howz-yer-father, apparently.

Mind you, the age of the students may well play a part in police considerations. That somewhat critical piece of information is not provided in the report that Mrs Grumble brought to Alf’s attention.

Whatever the reason for the cops’ indifference, a female teacher has been punished professionally.

She has been stripped of her teaching registration after admitting sexual relations with two students.

She does not seem to have been too contrite when initially caught out because she continued to send explicit text messages to one of the teens after being stood down for her behaviour.

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Yep, the Easter shopping laws are daft but the law is the law and breaking it should not be sanctioned

April 6, 2015

The contempt some business people show for the laws of the land gets bigger every Easter.

The deal seems to be that if you are a corporate law-breaker the authorities will turn a blind eye but if you are some other sort of crim, then you should be caught and (if Alf is sitting on the bench) flung into jail for a long time.

It’s bollocks and makes it hard for Alf to press for all law-breakers to be rounded up and punished.

But that, sadly, is the way things have turned out.

According to this report at Stuff:

Supermarkets which opened in contravention of Easter trading laws did a good trade as shopper numbers in Marlborough swelled thanks to the Omaka Classic Fighters Airshow.

This is a bit like saying shoplifters who stole goods in contravention of the laws on theft did nicely, thank you, from their stealing of groceries at the weekend.

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The judge was wrong to say he is taking a risk – it’s the property-owning public who are put at risk

April 4, 2015

Let’s be upstanding for the good Judge Sygrove.

We refer to Judge Chris Sygrove, who has given a criminal with a long history of offending the chance to stay out of jail.

We he should do this is somewhat bewildering to Alf, who is a great believer in banging up bad buggers for as long as the law will allow, and even longer if there’s a chance of getting away with it.

He has some sympathy for the Muslim approach to these matters and the practice of lopping off the hands of pilferers.

And he has never quite grasped why so many Western countries have dispensed with the gallows, the guillotine and other wonderful instruments of behavioural improvement, including the rack, the stocks and the ducking stool.

He certainly is disinclined to give second chances to blokes with a history of burglary and of being banged up but not learning their lesson.

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Misbehaviour by two St Bede’s boys called for stiff punishment but protective parents stick an oar in

March 23, 2015

School discipline and the punishment of delinquent lads suffered a setback today.

As a consequence two St Bede’s College students from Christchurch were enabled to row with their school’s Maadi Cup rowing team instead of being given six of the best on their bums with a cane, which is the punishment Alf would have meted out.

They can thank a judge and their parents for the leniency they have encountered (a family who apparently does not subscribe to the view that sparing the rod will spoil the children).

The two boisterous lads have been named as Jordan Kennedy and Jack Bell.

According to this report from the NZ Herald, they were chucked off the rowing team after breaching Auckland Airport security on Friday.

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Hamilton hoon should be steered towards the BBC and a job as Clarkson’s successor

March 11, 2015

Xesqe (1)

Angry Hamilton residents should pause and muse on a way of channelling a young fellow’s flair for wild driving and anti-social behaviour.

An opportunity to put this flair to good use has opened up – or looks like being opened up – at the BBC in Britain.

The way Alf understands it, the young Hamilton Lake man would fill the bill.

He is facing charges after a night of alleged neighbourhood hooning that left residents wild at his actions, including one who chased him down.

The man’s behaviour was described as “beyond dangerous” as he allegedly drove around the streets of Hibiscus Ave and Lake Domain doing burnouts and endangering pedestrians, say witnesses.

One resident was so angered he chased the alleged driver to gain a number plate, but ended up being almost rammed by the man.

“There is dangerous driving and then there is reckless driving, and then there is this,” said Andrew McColl, who lives at Hamilton Lake.

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Throwing horse shit on a royal Rolls is about $9600 more serious than tossing it over John Banks

March 3, 2015

He is described in this Stuff report as “a veteran protester” although Alf is more inclined to regard him as an ageing trouble-maker.

His name isĀ Castislav “Sam” Bracanov and the silly old fart has beenĀ found guilty of throwing a bucket of watered-down horse manure over former ACT leader John Banks last year.

Actually, the charge was common assault.

As you will see further down, assaults on a commoner do not command the same sense of outrage as assaults on the royals or their motor vehicles.

The evidence that Bracanov did assault a commoner is not easy to refute, notwithstanding his not guilty plea. A video of the incident can be seen above.

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Struck off: the further disgrace of an ex-lawyer who once aspired to be a Maori Party MP

February 26, 2015

The Lawyers and Conveyancers Disciplinary Tribunal is showing a troubling disregard for the notion that indigenous persons should be regarded as special.

It has ruled that an ex-lawyer, one Davina Murray, be struck off because she was unanimously found “not a fit and proper person to operate as a legal practitioner”.

Bearing in mind the fitness and propriety of some legal practitioners of Alf’s acquaintance, this is a damning decision.

Because Murray is an indigenous person it seemed improbable she would be subjected to such harsh treatment.

But the NZ Herald today is reporting:

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