But would you be eligible for a heroism award if it transpired you had saved a suicide bomber?

January 17, 2015


We all admire a hero and the people of the Waikato today are saluting a Hamilton feller who didn’t hesitate before leaping to the rescue. He grabbed his flippers and body board and headed out through the pummelling surf of a Northland beach to help drag a struggling tourist to safety on Thursday.

This feller is Elliot Tiffany, a school teacher.

According to the Waikato Times, he and his 11-year-old son Xavier played a vital role in saving the life of a British grandfather, who got stuck in a rip at King’s Beach.

Aged in his mid-60s, the Pom apparently was attempting to swim to rocks when he got halfway and decided to turn back.

But a rip caught him and swept him out another 50 metres.

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The Famous Five become candidates for a book burning as EU sheilas run amok

November 7, 2012

Yep – this could finish up on the EU book-ban list. .

If Alf were a Pom, he would be an ardent campaigner for Britain’s withdrawal from that sad-sack shambles known as the European Union.

His campaigning would be given a huge lift by a just-published report.

This report is obviously the disgraceful product of an over-dose of European political correctness and female hormones.

It also demonstrates a shameful readiness to sanction censorship.

But what would be censored?

Pornography and depravity?


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Hamilton – a place where precious prudes are prohibiting a jolly good erotica expo

November 24, 2011

Here's a Hamilton who was not averse to a bit of rumpy-pumpy.

Dunno if it would have helped, but Alf gave some thought to inviting the organisers of the Erotica Expo to stage the event in his garage. He reckoned it would trigger a huge influx of visitors to Eketahuna and be great for the town’s economy.

Alas, Mrs Grumble was not too thrilled about the idea and made various threats about the withdrawal of certain services she provides. Alf backed down.

That leaves the expo with nowhere to go, after Hamilton city leaders banned it on moral grounds.

City councillors have vetoed an approach from the expo’s promoters to book the Claudelands Events Centre in March, despite the venue facing at least a $1 million loss.

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Just what the doctor ordered – an attractive young male escort to carry a gay-basher’s luggage

May 7, 2010

Alf was momentarily disappointed – seriously disappointed, too – on reading about the frailties of a Baptist minister with a reputation for giving poofters a hard time from the pulpit.

George Rekers, described as a vocal critic of gay rights, was photographed returning from a 10-day European vacation with a male prostitute.

The prominent evangelical conservative, who co-founded the influential right-wing Family Research Council, became an international punch-line earlier this week when it emerged that his travelling companion was a 20-year-old escort who works under the aliases “Lucien” and “Geo” and advertises at http://www.rentboy.com.

See the grounds for Alf’s disappointment?

He looks to the likes of Dr Rekers to keep us on the straight and narrow.
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