Speaker steers us away from the godless path that would have taken Christmas dinner out of our lives

December 9, 2014

Well done David Carter.

The Speaker of the House has announced that the traditional prayer he uses to open daily sittings of Parliament will remain as it is, with its Christian references.

As the Herald reports:

He undertook a very low-key consultation process with MPs and offered an alternative that would remove religious references to “Almight God” and “Jesus Christ our Lord” from the English version.

However his alternative prayer included lines in Maori – E te Atua Kaha Rawa – that translates to “Almighty God,” something Assistant Speaker Trevor Mallard described as “almost dishonest.”

As well as that, the Speaker would have included a daily acknowledgment to the local tribe Te Ati Awa.

Mr Carter would entertain no debate on an alternative; it would be either the current prayer or the alternative he proposed.

He refused any comment, clearly seeing it as a matter only for MPs.

Read the rest of this entry »


Impertinent media are now poking into Paul’s Parliamentary perks and politicking

July 27, 2014
If the taxpayers didn't want us to slurp from the trough, they would stop filling it.

If the taxpayers didn’t want us to slurp from the trough, they would stop filling it.

Alf observes that a party bench-mate, Paul Foster-Bell, has been a quick learner of how to slurp from the Parliamentary expenses trough.

At first he seemed unaware of how far a fellow can go when travelling at the expense of the taxpayer.

But he has quickly learned how to making the most of it.

This is all to clear from a record of his expenses published today at Stuff, which gives him no credit for keeping his expenses so low in the second quarter of 2013.

Data published by the newspaper show his claims record has been:

Read the rest of this entry »


A nice speech from Tariana but she didn’t make much of the papa bit of her whakapapa

July 24, 2014
The Greens make their presence felt in the Waiatament.

The Greens make their presence felt in the Waiatament.

Tariana Turia – lovely lady, don’t get Alf wrong – seems to have overlooked half of her whakapapa in her valedictory speech this evening.

We heard something about the Whanganui river and the mountains and umbilical chords and all that spiritual  stuff that tells us Tariana has a different world view from Alf’s.

We got to hear about other bits of her heritage. But only the Maori bit.

Read the rest of this entry »


Here’s why Morrie has good cause to want to keep the muzzle on our female MPs

May 19, 2014

Alf has just caught up with news that Parliament’s relationship with Te Atiawa could be changed.

For the better?

It depends on your world view, probably.

The news is that a bloke called Morrie Love is keen on maintaining the Maori traditional muzzle on women when it comes to speaking rights – even if they happen to be members of Parliament. It’s a position Alf is strongly inclined to support, because women are apt to talk a lot of old flannel.

It’s all related to powhiri at Parliament (typically a tedious procedure which Alf prefers to avoid but very important when it comes to maintaining the status of our indigenous people as – you know – “special”).

Read the rest of this entry »


All power to the Minister and the Speaker as Russel Norman’s question is short-circuited

April 18, 2013

It was great to see Russel Norman get his come-uppance from Mr Speaker in the House this afternoon.

Norman obviously hoped he was going to screw some politically embarrassing information out of our splendid Minister of Energy, Simon Bridges (although Alf likes to think he would be an even more splendid Minister).

At Question Time, Norman asked (here) if Bridges believed the electricity reforms of the late 1990s delivered lower electricity prices and – if so – what had happened to household electricity prices over the last 20 years?

Obviously 20 years is a long time, and it would have required lots of beavering away in the database to come up with the figures.

So Bridges short-circuited things and said yes, the reforms were on the right track.

Good answer.

Read the rest of this entry »


Throwing up Trevor Mallard as a candidate means David Carter is a shoo-in to become Mr Speaker

January 31, 2013

Well, that’s gotta be a thoroughly untempting proposition.

The Labour Party has said it will nominate Trevor Mallard to be Speaker of the House.

They know the bid will fail.

The chances of failure became that much greater when Mallard became their choice.

Read the rest of this entry »


If you thought Parliament does some mad things – well, maybe this explains it

June 16, 2012

The bloody Brits have been overcome by a curious urge to admit to being a tad ga-ga, and their MPs are lifting the lid on how they have suffered from debilitating mental illnesses.

They have been speaking out about various conditions with fancy names such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-natal depression, although Alf tends to stick with words like potty, cranky or whatever.

A Labour MP, Kevan Jones, is reported (here) to have delivered a speech in the House of Commons during which he revealed he suffered from deep depression.

Alf gets that way, too, it must be said, but only when listening to Opposition MPs deliver their tedious speeches, which is much too often.

Read the rest of this entry »