What the bleep has happened to the Dotcom video? Order to remove it robs Nats of a vote-winner

August 16, 2014
But his party's video could only have strengthened John Key's hand.

But his party’s video could only have strengthened John Key’s hand.

The Alf Grumble re-election campaign team will be having a strategy session tonight.

They will be examining the ramifications of an unseemly intervention in the election campaign by a prissy mob called the Advertising Standards Authority.

This bunch have given the thumbs down to the Youtube advertisement and ordered it be removed.

Read the rest of this entry »


Simon Power sets his sights on celebrities, but fools who want to part with their cash won’t be deterred

March 18, 2011

Follow me, folks - the grass is nice and plush over here.

Oh dear. It looks like a nice little earner for a few celebrities is about to become a tad risky for the buggers.

Those of them who lend their names to advertising campaigns to promote investment products might face stiff penalties under new laws if they are found to have misled mum and dad investors.

The Herald says Commerce Minister Simon Power yesterday announced a raft of Cabinet decisions on his major rewrite of investment laws, a response to the collapse of the finance company sector and the global financial crisis.

Read the rest of this entry »


It will be a bugger of a job trying to work out which J.McSweeney should be given a wide berth

January 29, 2011

A great role model - except, perhaps, for J.McSweeney.

Somewhere around New Zealand is a bloke or sheila known to Alf and the public only as J McSweeney.

It’s a pity we don’t have a better fix on the identity of this J.McSweeney – a particularly precious and prissy person, it would appear – because there are bound to be heaps of admirable J. McSweeneys out there, and the whole point of this post is to warn all sensible folk to give the J.McSweeney in question a very wide berth.

It’s almost as perlexing as trying to work out which 46-year-old celebrity had been done for disorderly conduct after his name had been suppressed and before he outed himself as Martin Devlin.

Similarly, without knowing one J.McSweeney from another, it is hard to take heed of Alf’s warning. Accordingly we might accidently bump into the J.McSweeney who is best avoided and – too late – find that, yes, this is one who is boorish and totally and utterly lacking in a sense of humour and fun.

Read the rest of this entry »


Baa humbug – bemusing bleatings from the Judas sheep who led investors to be bled by Hanover

April 1, 2010

Alf is unmoved by former One News presenter Richard Long’s expressions of remorse.

Nor does he feel any sorrow that Long has lost money.

He concedes that not a spark of sympathy was struck when he learned this morning that Long regrets his role as the television voice for Hanover Finance and says he has lost about $50,000 himself.

Until now, he says, he has hardly spoken about the aftermath of the Hanover collapse which left thousands of mum-and-dad investors out of pocket.

“Nothing has changed. But I feel bad about the deal – really bad,” Long said from his home in the Coromandel.

And so he bloody should.
Read the rest of this entry »


A taste test of dubious value

July 11, 2009

An example of how headlines can mislead can be found on the NZ Herald’s web-site today.

A headline told Alf something dastardly had happened to a prominent New Zealand-owned chocolate company. It says: Whittaker’s comes cropper in choc taste test

But has it come a cropper?

Cadbury has taken umbrage at a hard-hitting television advertisement featuring side-by-side comparisons of Cadbury and Whittaker’s chocolate. It has complained to the Advertising Standards Authority.
Read the rest of this entry »