Flying into Taupo looks dodgy – but shouldn’t GPS be brought into the safety calculations?

February 17, 2012

And the odds of flying into the mountain are...what exactly?

We are given good statistical reasons today for avoiding air travel to get to Taupo.

The odds of flying into danger are set out in an NZ Herald report –

Every second plane flying into Taupo is pulled off course and on a collision course with Mt Tauhara, a coroner’s inquest into a plane crash that killed three people has been told.

This is a scary number.

If you had to fly to Taupo for whatever reason, you would be smart to inquire if the previous flight was one of the two that is pulled off course and headed for Mt Tauhara.

Comforted by the knowledge this indeed was the case, you could be more confident about taking the trip.

But if the previous flight had been one of the two that is not pulled off course, you should skip the one you were about to get into and wait for the next.

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Air NZ pilots prepare for a death-defying stunt – anyone want to bet on them succeeding?

February 11, 2011

Bugger...maybe a bit of Viagra would have kept it up.

Air New Zealand is about to attempt to put the laws of gravity to the test.

At least, that’s the implication of a Herald headline today.

It says –

Dash 8 fleet to stay in air

Alf reckons the last time anyone tried to perform a stunt like this was when King Canute commanded the tide to stay back.

Alf will be among the keen observers of what is bound to happen when the bloody planes run out of fuel.

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Air NZ should have spurned the prissy prof’s preposterous proposition about suicidal poofs

December 13, 2010

"But if a few poofs do top themselves, they will be improving the species by removing themselves from it."

Ask anybody what adjective goes best with the word “professor,” – Alf recalls reading a few years back – and the answer will almost certainly be “absent-minded,” or possibly “nutty.”

Popular culture is full of addlebrained academics, whether they be villainous madmen like Professor Morbius in Forbidden Planet or Sherlock Holmes’s archenemy Professor Moriarty; crazy cranks like Professor Emmett Brown in Back to the Future, or well-meaning but harebrained eccentrics like Professor Brainard in The Absent-Minded Professor, Professor

The article appeared in the US Chronicle of Higher Education.

But nutty professors are to be found everywhere.

Some of the buggers in this part of the world are worse than nutters – they are seriously unhinged.

This must certainly apply to the professor who has pulled political correctness into the pits of the pathetic by complaining about a small scene in the Air New Zealand in-flight safety video.

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Kipping down in cattle class

October 24, 2009

Good grief – how many makeovers can Air NZ undergo before it finishes up looking like that recently deceased sadsack, Michael Jackson.

Alf poses this question on learning that just three years on from its previous branding overhaul, Air New Zealand is reviewing its uniform and livery.

More interesting, it is looking into possibilities for economy passengers to sleep comfortably on flights.

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Profits down but Air NZ’s boss gets a bigger bonus

August 28, 2009

Alf can be bewildered by the boardroom antics of our company directors and their executives.

He can be puzzled, too, about the business press’s disinclination to look too hard at their more questionable decisions.

Take – for example – the decision to pay Air New Zealand chief executive Rob Fyfe an increased cash bonus for his performance during the past financial year.

Although his base salary remains frozen at $1.2 million, his short-term bonus for the 2008-2009 year will increase from $287,100 to $1,240,800. That will be paid next year.

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On yer bike, Darren

January 6, 2009

Good grief – where’s Darren Hughes been? Trying to have a bloody good time on holiday somewhere while desperately trying to constrain his carbon footprint, which is no fun at all, I suspect. Read the rest of this entry »